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Nice one Jim. A step into the dark side for you me thinks?     

beautiful sentiments Jeff, you lightened my mood with this. The street where I live is always jam-packed with cars that don't belong here, so I took Ann just a mile away, 5 minutes tops, and by the time I got back some **** has jumped in my parking space, so I was fuming coming on line, I read your poem and felt better, then I read what I've just written and now I'm ready to kill again, metaphorically of course. I'd better read your poem again...     

a telling story Jeff. well written and executed. having crossed the equator myself i found it was just like up here, cold, wet or hot and dusty. hope you get your wish.     

that my friend is a double dip, a real groaner. it's my type of humour and i can say from experience highly underrated!

eg; a dirty joke...man fell in the mud

Q: how many aeroplanes can you get under a Scotsman's kilt?

A: all depends on the size of the hangers     

over the last 53 years (since I was old enough to drink...legally) I've spent a lot of time in bars but not one funny story comes to mind. I've seen fights and a lot of smooching and near the knuckle things. But I must tell you about an incident that happened today.

It all began two weeks ago when some idiot smashed my sons rear window on his car. So, the guy turns up to replace the glass and slams the tailgate so hard it jammed so it wouldn't open. ten days later it was taken into the garage for repair. two days ago I took Lee to fetch his car and he drove it home. Today I get a call to say his car wont start. He calls the garage, a fitter comes out and says it's not the battery, scratches his head and leaves the scene! Lee checks you tube and finds a video that tells him how to cure the problem, I get a call and he asks if I could bring a socket set to disconnect the battery which will re-set everything. I go over to find he's opened the bonnet (hood) and taken the negative lug off, and stripped the thread in the process. So, following the instructions I said let's see if that's sorted it? I replaced the lug and there was a click. Lee went to open the door to find it was locked. Where's the key he asked of his wife (normally the brains of the outfit) I left it in the ignition, locked inside the car!!! A helpful passer by suggested getting a wire and looping it around the handle inside the car or calling a locksmith which would cost around £200...nah! We struggled for an hour but failed to get the wire to loop around the handle. The only other solution was to smash the quarter light. Before doing that I said, have you got a spare key? nope. So a wrecking bar appeared and went through the quarterlight and the key was retrieved. The car started first time, so Youtube was right, but at a cost of close to £500! I came home and told Ann that those two are a wonderful couple but a disaster zone.

Pedr, it could be about either it could even be about a road trip...it's how the listener or reader interprets the story. I've been working on a song for a while and every time I go back to it it changes theme. I always thought Bohemian Rhapsody was about passing the AIDS virus, but apparently I was wrong it's just how I interpreted it. Come on Jim where's the recording?     

Jim. I once drank half a bottle of Drambuie through a straw resulting in being very ill! Now it turns my stomach...a little info; whiskey is normally Irish and whisky is Scotch or Scottish whisky. The Irish is smoother and bourbon smells awful to me, not that I'm a connoisseur or anything...     

soooo laid back, and as a retired person I can agree with all sentiments.     

I like this song Jeff and Pete's joke too!
I haven't listened yet but I am eager to hear it. Let you know when I do. Great words.     

Shwmae Pedr. Glad to see those creative juices haven't dropped down the drain with the rain! He he he

The music was rocking
The listeners were dancing
The clouds were gathering
The plops in the puddles
Got folks looking skyward
The electric musicians were rushing to cover
Guitars amps and keyboards
As the rain started falling
Water was running like rivers in torrents
Down drains with a gurgle
And the music was lost
With the rain down down the sewers

Just thinking about Glastonbury and Kiwi weather!     

get a book. with video tutorials they tend to go too fast over the bits you want to know or miss them completely. at least with a book you can go back as many times as you like and as is said above "do it your way not the proper way". i've been playing guitar for 55 years and i'm still learning don't expect to be Clapton or Segovia in days, it will take years and then maybe never! who cares, be yourself and most of all...enjoy playing.