I wrote this one over a year ago because I figured the world really needed a ridiculously long song all about hats.  I have since made many changes to the original lyric - but it is still ridiculously long!

Finally got around to recording it and put together a slide show - because the world also needs a ridiculously long video all about hats.  Clocking in at 11:24, it was too long for YouTube, so I put it up at MySpace video.

Never could scrounge up any bongos - so just pretend you hear them . . .
Please hear (and see) it here:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea … D=49499573

HatsJames McCormick, November 24, 2007

Verses sung, Choruses spoken, Chords & Bongos throughout

(spoken, with bongos and chords)

[C]Hats . . . . [F]Hats . . . . [G]Hats . . . . [C]Hats . . . .

(sung)

[C]Rappers wear caps askew [F]turned a-which-a-way

[G]Stetsons on country guys [F]help 'em sing 'n [C]play

[C]Crooner's in fedoras [F]did the doo-bee-doo

[G]Sherlock had a favorite hat for [F]deducing [C]clues

[F]Jackie's little pillbox so [C]trendy oh so pert

An-[F]nette had mouse ears to [G]flounce 'n to flirt . .[G7]

[C]Guineviere's scarf [F]kept her modesty

A [G]tiara on a beauty queen's for [F]all the world to [C]see . .[G]

[C]Namath had a helmet for [F]throwin' touchdowns

[G]Churchill jammed a bowler a-[F]top his jowly [C]frown

O-[C]sama's got turbans to [F]hatch evil schemes

[G]Dali wore black beret to [F]paint surreal [C]scenes

Com-[F]mandos got ski masks 'n[C]lots of guns to shoot

The [F]Pope's got a mitre with [G]fancy Gucci boots . .[G7]

[C]Honest Abe's stovepipe [F]had a snappy brim

The [G]Viet Cong had Hue hats like [F]old Ho Chi [C]Mihn . .[G]

Well, [C]Merlin had a wizard cone 'n [F]lots of Druid power

[G]Hendrix wore a headband while [F]playin' gui-[C]tar

[C]Daniel Boone made a hat [F]from an ol' raccoon

[G]Jesus wore a crown of thorns while [F]trudging to his [C]doom

O-[F]lympians wore laurel leaves with a [C]little olive oil

[F]Farmers sport seed caps while [G]plowin' up the soil . .[G7]

[C]Hard hat at a work site will [F]keep your noggin whole

[G]Miners don head lamps for [F]diggin' up the [C]coal

(spoken, with bongos)

[F]Hats in movies, hats in books, [C]hats in history

[F]Hats on superheroes, hats [G]off celebrities

[C]Hats for safety, hats for style, hats [F]as accessories

[G]Hats in art 'n acting parts, so [F]many hats to [C]see . .[G]

[C]Scotsman looks very cool in [F]sporran and a tam

Za-[G]pata wore sombreros to [F]fight for his [C]land

[C]Gomer and Castro wear [F]army fatigue caps

Mark [G]Spitz wore no rubber cap to [F]swim his record [C]laps

[F]Sitting Bull's feathers [C]marked a mighty chief

[F]Rabbis wear yamikas be-[G]cause of their beliefs . .[G7]

[C]Pharoah was the boss a [F]serpent on his crown

The [G]guy who drives for UPS has a [F]cap that is all [C]brown . .[G]

[C]Ladies of the COGIC have [F]hats of every hue

Peace-[G]keepers for the UN have [F]helmets of [C]blue

[C]Rangers in Yosemite got [F]hats like Smokey Bear

You can [G]get a hat of balloons out [F]at the county [C]fair

[F]Lance had aero helmets, so [C]hard and fast he rode

[F]Gilligan had a canvas cap 'n [G]bamboo abode . .[G7]

[C]Yassar wore keffiyah u-[F]pon his grizzled brow

O'-[G]Leary wore a bonnet [F]when she milked her [C]cow . .[G]

[C]Joltin' Joe had Yankees caps, he [F]married Miss Monroe

[G]Mookie played in New York and[F]Toron-[C]to

[C]Mao had Mao hats to [F]match his green Mao suits

[G]Carmen Miranda could sing and dance un-[F]der a bunch of [C]fruit

[F]Cryano de Bergerac [C]wore a foppish plume

[F]Yeager wore a helmet to [G]make the sonic boom . .[G7]

Red [C]Skelton changed characters [F]just by changing hats

[G]Isaac Newton must have had a [F]well-worn thinking [C]cap

(spoken, with bongos)

[F]Hats in stories, hats in song, [C]hats in comic books

[F]Hats for hot, hats for cold, [G]hats just for looks

[C]Hats for war, hats for wow, [F]hats for everyone

[G]Hats for work, hats for sport, [F]hats just for [C]fun . .[G]

[C]Graduates don mortar boards when [F]they matriculate

[G]Wilbur Wright wore a goggle hat when [F]he did avi-[C]ate

She-[C]herazade had many veils and [F]lots of tales to tell

[G]Paul Revere had a tricorn his [F]warning for to [C]yell

The [F]Inuit got furry hoods their [C]earlobes will not freeze

[F]Farmers use helmet nets [G]when they're tend to bees . .[G7]

[C]Snipers use Ghillie suits [F]blend into the weeds

There's [G]helmets on jockeys but [F]not upon their [C]steeds . .[G]

Bar-[C]tholemew Cubbin's many hats [F]got him in a fix

[G]Groucho, Harpo, 'n Chico had [F]hats to do [C]schtick

[C]European aristocrats [F]used to wear perukes

[G]Vader's hat so shiny black when [F]he was fighting [C]Luke

[F]Casey Jones drive that train he [C]was an engineer

Ty-[F]rolean hats are perfect for [G]drinking German beers . .[G7]

A [C]burqa is a big hat [F]goes from head to toe

A [G]Panama in Suez might [F]not be apro-[C]pos . .[G]

[C]Blushing brides raise a veil to [F]start wedded bliss

[G]Riot squads in helmets [F]beat those who re-[C]sist

[C]Lovely Rita meter maid had a [F]cap and uniform

Brun-[G]hilda in the opera her [F]hat has big old [C]horns

[F]Batman's hat is a mask with [C]pointy little ears

Bear [F]Bryant in tweed hats [G]coached for many years . .[G7]

[C]Zorro's brim was black his [F]sword so very quick

[G]Geishas got kanzashi those [F]fancy hair [C]sticks

(spoken, with bongos)

[F]Hats on women, hats on men, [C]hats on children too

[F]Hats of metal, hats of cloth, [G]hats for me and you . .[G7]

[C]Hats with brims, hats with frills, [F]hats with chin straps

[G]Hats with feathers, hats with holes, [F]hats with ear [C]flaps . .[G]

Ralph [C]Cramden in a driver's cap [F]drove a city bus

[G]Showgirls in Vegas have [F]showy hats and [C]busts

[C]Elton John performed in e-[F]laborate headdress

[G]Quixote donned a helmet and [F]took off on a [C]quest

[F]Nelson had an admiral hat he [C]lost one of his hands

[F]Custer lost hat and scalp [G]during his last stand . .[G7]

[C]Astronauts and cosmonauts have [F]very special rigs

Dumb [G]Donald's pink stocking cap is [F]way way too [C]big . .[G]

[C]Generals wear headgear with [F]flashy bits of brass

[G]Hula girls wear flowers and [F]skirts made of [C]grass

[C]Ataturk's mustache did [F]complement his fez

Con-[G]quistadors had Spanish helms like Pi-[F]zarro and Cor-[C]tez

There's [F]halos on seraphim, [C]cherubim and saints

[F]Hannibal Lector's muzzle had [G]bodily restraints . .[G7]

[C]Zeuss's Cat in the Hat is [F]fun to read aloud

[G]Anglers wear hats with hooks when [F]casting for [C]trout . .[G]

John [C]Wayne had hats to [F]do what a man must do

[G]Ratchett had a nurse's cap [F]where the cuckoo [C]flew

Ma-[C]gicians from their top hats [F]rabbits do they pull

To-[G]reros wear monteras [F]for fightin' with the [C]bulls

[F]Liza had a trilby in a [C]Berlin cabaret

[F]Mary Poppins tied her hat be-[G]fore she flew away . .[G7]

[C]Ninjas have black hoods and [F]nasty poison darts

[G]Surgeons wear sterile hoods when they [F]slice into your [C]parts

(spoken, with bongos)

[F]Hats in legend, hats in verse, hats [C]in mythology

[F]Hats of silver, hats of gold, [G]hats of royalty . .[G7]

[C]Hats on statues, hats on pets, [F]hats in cartoons

[G]Hats for day, hats for night, [F]hats to hear [C]tunes . .[G]

[C]Perseus invisible when his [F]helmet was on

[G]Easter Island Moai [F]hats' weigh a [C]ton

[C]Santa Claus's fuzzy hat [F]all white and red

Lady [G]Liberty sports a spiky crown up-[F]on her copper [C]head

[F]Joan of Arc had a helmet she [C]burned for heresy

[F]Lepers wore shrouds to [G]cover their disease . .[G7]

[C]Priests of Quetzaquatl had [F]special hats of course

Roy [G]Rogers wore a white hat and [F]rode a white [C]horse . .[G]

[C]Legionnaires wear kepis they [F]march very slow

[G]Hermes wore petasus a [F]winged hat you [C]know

[C]Barristers wear horsehair to [F]argue the law

[G]Dorothy's friend the scarecrow had a [F]hat full of [C]straw

(spoken, with bongos only)

Hats . . . . Hats . . . . Hats . . . . Hats . . . .