Topic: "On My List"

Here is a full-frontal folkie rant about the people who irk me.
Yeah, it's long but when you're a crusty old codger like me there is alot to complain about.

On My ListJames McCormick, August 26, 2007

[G7]Well . . . [C]Everybody's got their list

Of [F]stuff that really makes them pissed

So, I [C]took some time to put mine in a [G]song.

It's [C]just a bunch of words and notes

Some [F]doggerel that I have wrote

It's [C]personal, mo-[G]notonous and [C]long

Per-[F]haps you will find it trite

[C]Full of bile and rife with spite

But [F]that's OK, I don't really [G]care

It's all [C]sorts of stuff that gets me mad

[F]Riles me up or makes me sad

Some [C]grievances I [G]feel that need to [C]air.

. . . .

[G7]Well . . . There's [C]pundits with their wacky slants

[F]Preachers slick who beg and pant

[C]Lobbyists with expensive party [G]lines

Poli-[C]ticians on the campaign trail

Ce-[F]lebrities with crap for sale

[C]Drivers who can't [G]stay between the [C]lines

There's [F]maniacs who are devout

Oh, [C]they will kill without a doubt

[F]Lunatics for every holy [G]groove

There's [C]stupid, shallow, silly tarts

With [F]lots of money but no smarts

And [C]bigots, brigands, [G]rap artists [C]too

. . . .

[G7]Well . . . There's [C]braggarts, bozos, and macaroons

And [F]cheering flabby-assed buffoons

[C]Bitches, brats, and sullen sulking [G]teens

There's [C]dopers who believe they're cool

[F]Dissipated, strung-out fools

[C]Crackheads, crankers, and [G]everything be-[C]tween

There's [F]fakers, takers, and trust forsakers

Ha-[C]bitual big heartbreakers

[F]Fast-buck artists, gaming geeks, and [G]goons

There's [C]trolls, trollops, and figure skaters

Po-[F]lygamists and player haters

[C]Cultists and cur-[G]mudgeonly old [C]loons

. . . .

[G7]Well . . . There's [C]idiots, snobs, and silly fops

[F]Hangin' judges and crooked cops

[C]Hustlers, cons, and spammers in the [G]dark

There's [C]lazy students and boring profs

A-[F]ristocrats and stuck up toffs

[C]Gangstas shooting [G]people in the [C]park

There's [F]geezers, cronies, and know-it-alls

[C]Juiced-up jocks with teeny balls

And [F]power-lifting apes full of [G]zits

Gas [C]guzzlers zoomin' to and fro

[F]Mindless drones who ride the flow

Who's [C]goal in life is [G]never to use their [C]wits

. . . .

[G7]Well . . . There's [C]pusillanimous pompous twits

[F]Constantly on power trips

And [C]horse patooties telling you the [G]news

There's [C]thugs and pimps and wannabes

[F]Socialites with social disease

And neo-[C]cons with [G]radical [C]views

There's [F]spoiled, picky, trust-fund kids

Pre-[C]tending to be on the skids

[F]Posers swooning 'round like homie [G]toughs

A-[C]busive lovers and heartless fools

[F]Bureaucrats with arcane rules

And [C]greedy slobs who [G]never get e-[C]nough

. . . .

[G7]Well . . . There's [C]moralistic uptight freaks

And [F]pervy little porno geeks

[C]Litterers, vandals, and drunkards on a [G]toot

Su-[C]premacists and sympathizers

[F]Hypocrites and demonizers

[C]Strutting around like [G]silly little [C]brutes

There's [F]speed demons and tailgaters

Ha-[C]bitual expectorators

[F]Bubbas, biters, and crotchety old [G]turds

Plus [C]schoolyard bullies and righteous prudes

[F]Mean old girls with attitudes

Con-[C]spiracy nuts with [G]theories so ab-[C]surd

. . . .

[G7]Well . . . There's [C]meth lab cookers all around

[F]Burning lives into the ground

[C]Scrambling brains with toxic Nazi [G]drugs

Those [C]CEO's with trophy brides

Di-[F]vested spouses tossed aside

[C]Vows swept under [G]antique Persian [C]rugs

There's [F]goobers, grunts, and tiddely-winks

[C]Rumor mongers with breath that stinks

[F]Paparazzi lurking 'round like [G]ticks

There's [C]yobbos, yokels, and xenophobes

[F]Aliens with anal probes

And [C]beasts who pit fight [G]animals for [C]kicks

. . . .

[G7]Well . . . [C]That's my list, my monster rant

[F]Hope you dig it but if you can't

Hey, [C]that's OK, I don't really [G]care

I [C]really do feel better now

It [F]helps to get it all out somehow

[C]Thank you for [G]letting me [F]share . . .

Yeah, [C]thanks for [G]letting me [C]share.

"That darn Pythagorean Comma thing keeps messing me up!"

Re: "On My List"

"Gas [C]guzzlers zoomin' to and fro"

well while i agree with you on most of these things, give me a nice big jacked up gas guzzlin' truck  and some skynyrd cranked up and i'll be one of those things you hate so much lol

All You Need is Love smile

Re: "On My List"

James McCormick,
you must be the crustiest old codger! The size of that list? lol.  Great use of words as always.

Old Doll.

Why Blend in with the Crowd ? When you were made to stand out !

Re: "On My List"

this is one of the best songs on here.  really, and im pretty picky

Everything is bad including me
But being bad is good policy
Reverend Horton Heat

Re: "On My List"

you certainly know how to hit the nail on the head ,i'm glad i'm not in your list ,good work james

love is life ,life is for love,keep a true heart and live life to the full....stay cool

Re: "On My List"

great work james!

"Fly on Proud Bird, At Last You Are Free"
-Charlie Daniels

Re: "On My List"


I can imagine playing that around the campfire and using it as a contest.  The person who represents the most of those categories gets a prize (probably a boot in the butt).  I don't think I know anyone who doesn't fit in at least one of those categories if not three or more. 

I like to say at the beginning of any jamm sessions I host that it's a free for all music wise and that if we do it right everyone will find something to offend them sometime during the night.   This song will come in right handy.  Now if I could only get a clean sounding "F" chord...

- Zurf

Granted B chord amnesty by King of the Mutants (Long live the king).
If it comes from the heart and you add a few beers... it'll be awesome! - Mekidsmom
When in doubt ... hats. - B.G. Dude

Re: "On My List"

Thanks all for your positive feedback!

Please understand that I am actually a very happy guy and that I am proud to have good friends from all walks of life.  In fact, that is one of great things about living in a small town - you can get to know and enjoy a lot of different people.

I am not really a guy who complains all the time - in fact I included myself (or at least the part of me that wrote this ditty) in the song: 'geezers, cronies, and know-it-alls' and 'crotchety old turds' were both in reference to my grumpy evil twin.

Zurf, sorry about the Fs - I am in the habit of thinking in the key of C.  So F just sort of ends up in too many of my songs.  Take it down one whole step to D and that should help: you'll then be playing D, C, A, and A7.

"That darn Pythagorean Comma thing keeps messing me up!"

Re: "On My List"

Cool.  I transcribe just about every song in my songbook to D or G just to avoid F, F#m, and any B chord but B7.  Even trained myself to sing in D or G.  Stinking barre chords.   May have to add a verse just to include the tricky little blanketyblanks. 

- Zurf

Granted B chord amnesty by King of the Mutants (Long live the king).
If it comes from the heart and you add a few beers... it'll be awesome! - Mekidsmom
When in doubt ... hats. - B.G. Dude

Re: "On My List"

Played it.  Great.  How can I print it to put it in my binder? 

- Zurf

Granted B chord amnesty by King of the Mutants (Long live the king).
If it comes from the heart and you add a few beers... it'll be awesome! - Mekidsmom
When in doubt ... hats. - B.G. Dude

Re: "On My List"

Hi Zurf - Glad you can dig it!  Here is how to 'hijack' a songsheet layout - it is a workaround so there are several steps but you end up with a nicely formatted songsheet that can be printed and transposed just like regular chordie stuff.
1.  Log into chordie and go to your songbook(s).  Pick a 'victim' song or import a new unwanted song from the index.
2.  Go to the forum and copy the song (lyrics, chords, and titles but not the chord grids) you want to print.
2.  Open up the victim song in your songbook using the green 'edit' button at the end of the listing.
3.  In the upper editing pane, delete everything in the vicitm song EXCEPT the {t:title} and {st:subtitle} lines.  These have to stay or the index won't recognize the file.
4.  Now, just paste the forum song into the editing pane just below the victim song's title and subtitle lines.  Also, change the forum song's title and subtitle lines into {c:comment} lines.
5.  Hit the 'save' button in between the edit and view panes.  You can now see the forum song in the viewing pane.  It will still have the victim song's title and subtitle, but the forum songs title and subtitle will be there in smaller print (no way around that).
6.  Hit the 'return to songbook' button between the panes.
6.  Now, just open the victim song (still listed with its original title) as you would normally open any song.  You can now view, print, and transpose the forum song.
7.  The forum song must remain in a private songbook - don't put it in a book you intend to publish.

Seems complicated, but it is not - it takes longer to explain the process than actually perform the task.  Have fun!  James

"That darn Pythagorean Comma thing keeps messing me up!"