Topic: WOT - introspective.

I wanted to post this somewhere and NOT on FB due to the individual who I allude too, may see it and get feelings hurt, but I wanted to share it somewhere.

In an attempt to find out about myself I realize I do have one big problem in that yes I do tend to turn conversations towards myself. Only in the very recent few years have I learned this is a form of Narcissistic behavior.

I always thought it was a just because of having felt to shy in the young life, and learned to be somewhat bold.  I also did not realize that was how people viewed it.  I thought I was just adding to the conversation that I felt I had a bit of bearing on.
So I have made some strides in holding back a bit. And really listening. 
I had one instance where there was a definite clash between my form and the female form in the manner of The Minimizing Apology: "I was just . . . "
“I was just kidding.” (Taken from Psychology Today)   and I also started to notice some other little mannerisms.

In the effort to not be miss-informed I have looked for explanations of both sides and have found this link to be quite eye opening.
https://pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted- … rcissists/

I don’t agree with everything this link states but in the extreme bad I am sure it is accurate.

I have been battling with these thoughts since things came to a head with the BLM and DEFUND movements, and the dating  life.   

I had complete strangers ask me if I was a Narcissist.  Not to mention 2 other terms that were flying around and total BS.  (Misoginist and closet racist or some garbage like that)

I was also asked if I had ever been Diagnosed with ADD.  To which I reply, OH LOOK BUTTERFLY!-- All joking aside, the term did not exist back when I was tested and I probably woud say that yes there is pretty healthy amout of it running around (maybe why a Monster usually puts me to sleep faster than it keeps me awake).

Back in 1981 all I was diagonsed with was light dislexia.

I just have a little time on my hands to think.  I ahve dated a few different women in the last year.  The last one whom I wrote "The last love song" about, ends up not being my last love song.  3 months in and a lot of stuff was poping up and I looked at the definition of the minimising apology and went BOOM head to hand!
"You are just like Bill Murry  in Groundhog day"  It took me a min and then I was like WTF?  After that my attention went to more mannerisims and comments.  So I guess i am still looking for theat last love song. (we have maintained polite converational status tho)

I just wanted to share.

Thanks Chordie family. 

Zen guitar is nothing more than playing the song we’re all born with inside - The one that makes us human.

–Phil Toshio Sudo
Author of Zen Guitar

Re: WOT - introspective.

I just wanted you to know that I read every word of your post, I admit I didn't understand some of it but I did identify myself in the greater part. there is a quote; "never say never", which is what I fall back on when someone does the dirty on me, eg, I'll never use that airline again, I'll never drink at that pub again, well thing is you, me all of us may need to fly with them or be desperate for a large beer or just need someone to talk to, to unload so to speak. That's why we're here.     

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: WOT - introspective.

Phill Williams wrote:

I just wanted you to know that I read every word of your post, I admit I didn't understand some of it but I did identify myself in the greater part. there is a quote; "never say never", which is what I fall back on when someone does the dirty on me, eg, I'll never use that airline again, I'll never drink at that pub again, well thing is you, me all of us may need to fly with them or be desperate for a large beer or just need someone to talk to, to unload so to speak. That's why we're here.

did you follow the link?   One pint in all this is Men are usually accused of being the Narcissist  but some ladies are just as bad.     

Zen guitar is nothing more than playing the song we’re all born with inside - The one that makes us human.

–Phil Toshio Sudo
Author of Zen Guitar

Re: WOT - introspective.

Beamer  I worked in advertising for a while which meant I spent a bit of time dealing with big egos and shallow self centered people. In that industry it was full of narcissists both male and female.     

Re: WOT - introspective.

I remember looking for the link but couldn't find it. I found it now of course and I'm shocked at how it describes some people I know or once knew. I hope I'm not a narcissist, but I think I have some of the tendencies...as I said I know people that fall completely into that category.
Thanks for the eye-opener.     

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: WOT - introspective.

Phill Williams wrote:

I remember looking for the link but couldn't find it. I found it now of course and I'm shocked at how it describes some people I know or once knew. I hope I'm not a narcissist, but I think I have some of the tendencies...as I said I know people that fall completely into that category.
Thanks for the eye-opener.

Phill - We all have a litrtle bit of the tendancys. pride and narcissism sometimes draw a fine line together.  However something that was pointed out to me privately was the main trait of a Narcissist is SERO empthay for anyone.  This is not me or you or most people.

The main thing I was marveling at was the view of a peroson you talk to on a chat or a short conversation, who then tells you your a bit narcisissist.  Also that someone starts showing signs that they think they are better than you in little comments and subtle mannerisims.  No one has time for that in their life. 

So know when to say when   big_smile     

Zen guitar is nothing more than playing the song we’re all born with inside - The one that makes us human.

–Phil Toshio Sudo
Author of Zen Guitar

Re: WOT - introspective.

I dont think I've ever read such a thought provoking soul searching post as this on Chordie. I had to read the post a couple of times to fully grasp the meaning,  followed the link and read the comments. All of which  I found totally absorbing and to be honest theirs parts in there where I don't come out to well.     

Thick as two short planks

Re: WOT - introspective.

beamer wrote:

I had complete strangers ask me if I was a Narcissist.

If there's a next time someone asks you that, ask back, "Why should I care what you think?"  They won't get the joke, but you will.     

Granted B chord amnesty by King of the Mutants (Long live the king).
If it comes from the heart and you add a few beers... it'll be awesome! - Mekidsmom
When in doubt ... hats. - B.G. Dude

Re: WOT - introspective.

Two brilliant quotes in this thread: know when to say when, and Zurf's why should I care what you think!

I've learned a lot. Thanks     

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.