1 Topic by murasame (edited by murasame 2008-06-03 05:07:11)

  • From: Tauranga BOP
  • Registered: 2008-05-29
  • Posts: 66

Topic: ~I MADE A SONG OF MY OWN DO YOU LIKE IT??~

Vrs 1
D                    G                          E                          Am
Girl dont you know i want You uh huh uh huh and girl dont
  A                  E                     D                    Em   
you know im gonna get you before midnight comes yehhhh

chours 
   E                          G                         Am           
yehhh girl ya better be on your way to my place oderwize
D           E                 Em               E                 A        Am
ill go ta yours uh huh uh huh girl i told the thing gonna be
   F#m                A                     E                    Em
going round the top of ya house so cha better move

in with me

Vrs 2       E                    A                  D             Em
iv been waiting so long are you even coming do you
   E                   F#M                    Em            E
even know im waiting havent ya even heard this
                              A               E                   G
song? gotta big  proplem if ya didnt girl i want ta

fast

(corus)

Vrs 3
   A                     E                               F#M                E           
There you are where ya been? iv been waiting so long lets go inside 


Thank You Thank You cool

I Can Play And Thats Ture  (- -)
                                           -
                                         /--/

murasame's Website

  • From: A black hole in deep space
  • Registered: 2007-10-28
  • Posts: 7,862

Re: ~I MADE A SONG OF MY OWN DO YOU LIKE IT??~

cha betta poot som chords to eet uh huh uh huh chewno wat i mean lol

"Growing old is not for sissies"

Russell_Harding's Website

  • Zurf
  • Zurf
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  • From: Virginia, USA
  • Registered: 2007-06-27
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Re: ~I MADE A SONG OF MY OWN DO YOU LIKE IT??~

I can't catch teh rhythm of the lyrics, but I like the purcussive nature of them.  I could just about hear some nifty percussion (not drum set, but more djembe drum or congas) riffing as I read it. 

Not really into the stalker, cocky bravado nature of the lyrics, but I'm a stick in the mud.  Screw all you want, but I don't want to hear bragging about it.  I'm wierd that way, as it seems to be a popular topic in ohhhh just abut every genre of music ever imagined. 

- Zurf

Granted B chord amnesty by King of the Mutants (Long live the king).
If it comes from the heart and you add a few beers... it'll be awesome! - Mekidsmom
When in doubt ... hats. - B.G. Dude
  • upyerkilt
  • upyerkilt
  • Unofficial king of Scotland
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  • From: Balloch, Scotland, UK, Earth
  • Registered: 2006-03-04
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Re: ~I MADE A SONG OF MY OWN DO YOU LIKE IT??~

murasame,

Like Russell said, put some chords to it.
When you do it will then be a song.

Also I moved it from the chat section to the songwriters section. We have sections to catergorize threads so the sections stay tidy and no mumble jumble.


thank you thank you thank you

ken

ye get some that are cut out for the job and others just get by from pretending
  • From: Almancil, Algarve, Portugal
  • Registered: 2006-09-02
  • Posts: 6,198

Re: ~I MADE A SONG OF MY OWN DO YOU LIKE IT??~

Hi Murasame,

Although I try and comment on every song posted here I normally ignore poems/lyrics (a song, by definition, has to have words and music) but I understand that you are only 9 years old and you do deserve some encouragement for your efforts.

Constructive cririsism first. You use "cha" a lot in these words, now in England cha is slang for a cup of tea, which can be misleading. I interpret it as being 'you' in most places and 'your' in another. Although you may sing it that way I think it is better to write the word properly and let the pronounciation be your slant on the song when it is performed. I also think you will have a problem putting music to it with the wide variation in the length of the verses but you will no doubt find that out in due course.

Pro's now.There is good punchy feel to the words which augurs well to being put to music. If I have your age right it is very well done, I certainly could not have done as much at your age.

You need now to sit down with your guitar and work out some chords and from the chords will come the melody. Alernatively work out a melody and then find the chords to suit but this way is far more difficult.

If you are able to record the finished article I will be pleased to put it on Friends of Chordie if you have no where else for it.

Well done and keep writing,

Roger

"Do, or do not; there is no try"

Roger Guppy's Website

  • From: Tauranga BOP
  • Registered: 2008-05-29
  • Posts: 66

Re: ~I MADE A SONG OF MY OWN DO YOU LIKE IT??~

I have put some cords into it and thanks for saying i have done well in my song im am not quite 9 yet on the 27 of june i am but anyway i haft to go bye

I Can Play And Thats Ture  (- -)
                                           -
                                         /--/

murasame's Website

  • arkady
  • arkady
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  • From: England
  • Registered: 2006-11-23
  • Posts: 2,147

Re: ~I MADE A SONG OF MY OWN DO YOU LIKE IT??~

Only 8 going on 9 I think you must have the prize for being the youngest poster here..
The song shows maturity beyond your years.
Well done
Ark

  • From: Almancil, Algarve, Portugal
  • Registered: 2006-09-02
  • Posts: 6,198

Re: ~I MADE A SONG OF MY OWN DO YOU LIKE IT??~

Well done Murasame,

Now you have a song, something to be proud of, especially at your age. You have obviously listened to the advice offered an made changes which have completely transformed your original posting. Give yourself a big pat on the back. I will enjoy playing it through later.

Tank you,

Roger

"Do, or do not; there is no try"

Roger Guppy's Website

  • From: A black hole in deep space
  • Registered: 2007-10-28
  • Posts: 7,862

Re: ~I MADE A SONG OF MY OWN DO YOU LIKE IT??~

well done! not have a peanut butter sandwich some cookies,ice cream and milk lol

"Growing old is not for sissies"

Russell_Harding's Website

  • From: Tauranga BOP
  • Registered: 2008-05-29
  • Posts: 66

Re: ~I MADE A SONG OF MY OWN DO YOU LIKE IT??~

Lol!!!! im in a band 1 adult ans my skool mates weve made 4 songs ill put them up on a differnt post its called our songs

go look fo it in the chat corner

I Can Play And Thats Ture  (- -)
                                           -
                                         /--/

murasame's Website

11 Reply by murasame (edited by murasame 2008-06-06 22:38:30)

  • From: Tauranga BOP
  • Registered: 2008-05-29
  • Posts: 66

Re: ~I MADE A SONG OF MY OWN DO YOU LIKE IT??~

Ill Go Put n Up Lok In Chat Corner

I Can Play And Thats Ture  (- -)
                                           -
                                         /--/

murasame's Website