1 (edited by bolleauxp 2010-09-24 11:55:58)

Topic: An Audience of One

Hi Guys

I posted this in the poem section yesterday because it woke me at 4am needing to be written down.  Today I have been sitting since 5 am trying to put a tune to it and this is what I have come up with so far.  It is my first "effort" at a song and comments and criticism and suggestions are welcome.  I know people will want to hear a recording but you will need to be patient as I don't know where to start and I may need to beg steal or borrow equipment.

Changes made as suggested by Roger and I agree it flows a little better.  Words changed at end of verse 2 to make it fit more easily.

Ian

An Audience of OneWords and Music by Ian McClurg


Slow Country Style


Intro [G] [Em] [Am] [D7]




[G]We sang a song [Am]together


[D7]About the way our love was [G]strong


I never [Em]thought that [Am]song would end


[D]But you have [Bm]proved me [G]wrong




[G]We used to make sweet [Am]music


[D7]As we loved beneath the [G]moon


Then over [Em]time it [Am]seems to me


[D]You sang a [Bm]different [G]tune


[C]You gave your love to [G]someone new


[C]You have learned a brand new [D]song


And [G]I just [Em]sat here [Am]singing to an [D7]audience of [G]one.


[G]I thought my life was [Am]over


[D7]The song we sang had [G]died


I'd never [Em]sing a-[Am]nother note


[D]In truth I [Bm]never [G]tried



[G]All my friends had left [Am]me


[D7]Or did I push them [G]away


I didn't [Em]really [Am]feel like


[D]I could go on a-[Bm]nother [G]day


[C]You gave your love to [G]someone new


[C]You have learned a brand new [D]song


And [G]I just [Em]sat here [Am]singing to an [D7]audience of [G]one.


[G]Over time the [Am]pain has eased


[D7]Though the scar will never [G]heal


I have [Em]learned to [Am]use my music


[D]To change the [Bm]way I [G]feel


[G]Now I'm learning a [Am]new melody


[D7]Someone new has come [G]along


I no [Em]longer have to [Am]sing my song


To an [D]audi-[Bm]ence of [G]one


[C]You gave your love to [G]someone new


[C]You have learned a brand new [D]song


[G]But I no [Em]longer [Am]have to sing to an [D7]audience of [G]one.


[G]I'm happy [Em]I no [Am]longer sing to an [D7]audience of [G]one.


All things good to know are difficult to learn.
Greek Proverb

Re: An Audience of One

I like the lyrics B.  It is rather difficult to critique a song when you've not heard it as it is intended, but one thing that stuck out was the D7 - D - G line at the end of the verses.  Usually (and I say usually because there are no hard rules in songwriting), if you're going to resolve to a G, I will reverse the first two chords (i.e., D - D7 - G).  I'd love to hear the song when you get a chance to record it.

Dan

Music is my savior/I was maimed by Rock and Roll/I was tamed by Rock and Roll/I got my name/From Rock and Roll

-Jeff Tweedy

Re: An Audience of One

Hey Ian - Sad and sweet. A road I have been down early in life so I can relate. I'd really love to hear it so good luck getting it recorded.

J  E  T  S
...and yet a Washington Football Club fan ...long story...HTT...WFT

Re: An Audience of One

Very nice song.  As I was reading it the melody came perfectly to me.  Can't wait to get home to play it.  Question I have though is how did you get it written in the Chordie form?  I have tried to write my songs this way but I can never get it to work and have had no luck finding a program shareware/free preferred that works.

1991 Washburn D12CE/N
2006 Taylor 412ce

"What I want is songs that echo. The stuff we're doing now is like somebody's bedsheets; spread 'em out, soil 'em, ship 'em out to laundry, you know? But our songs...I want us to be able to fold ourselves up in them forever...understand?  Words and music."

Re: An Audience of One

Hi Guys

Thanks for your comments.
@Resprod
There is a sticky at the beginning of the topic giving full instructions how to format it in a word or notepad file and the chordie format is automatic ehrn you post here.  Follow the instructions and it is done. If you want to do this to share elsewhere there are a number of free programs mentioned in the forum.  I use Songbird Studio which is free and easy to find on Google.


Ian

All things good to know are difficult to learn.
Greek Proverb

Re: An Audience of One

YEAH! 

Wow.  Is that really your first song?  Man.  Well done.

- Zurf

Granted B chord amnesty by King of the Mutants (Long live the king).
If it comes from the heart and you add a few beers... it'll be awesome! - Mekidsmom
When in doubt ... hats. - B.G. Dude

Re: An Audience of One

hi ian a masterpiece always comes from the heart and this is one,lovely lyrics and song,well done.....stay cool

love is life ,life is for love,keep a true heart and live life to the full....stay cool

Re: An Audience of One

Printing to try out!  I loved it as a poem and heard a melody in my head... can't wait to see what melody pops out with your chord progression!  Of course, I will be excited to hear your intended melody as soon as you are able!  smile

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

Re: An Audience of One

Hi Ian,

I love this song, sad love songs are my favourite ones. However I have to agree with Dan that, to me, the D7 to D change does not seem to flow. I tried changing it to D, D7 but a Bm, D worked best for me. But at the end of the day it is your song so a recording of your song would be great to know how you really intend it to be. So get begging, borrowing or stealing lol.

Great work, well done,

Roger

"Do, or do not; there is no try"

Re: An Audience of One

Hi again Ian!  I finally had a little time yesterday and played through your song about 5 times.  The melody came fairly easily to me, and  I really enjoyed playing and singing this one!  I can't wait to hear your intention with it.  smile  I didn't try it with the Bm as I printed it out before you made that change ... I just went to the D7 then to the G (while playing it didn't feel like it needed the D).  Really great job and I love how the last chorus just begs to be played!

Amy

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

Re: An Audience of One

Excellent work Ian.  I'm looking forward to hearing to hearing your melody and prosody.

I agree with Zurf, if this is your first attempt at writing, then you are on the road to being a great songwriter.

Ken

I want to read my own water, choose my own path, write my own songs

Re: An Audience of One

Ian, Nice job... I liked the lyrics and I am trying to get the flow of the song. Keep it going -  great stuff !

Your vision is not limited by what your eye can see, but what your mind can imagine.
Make your life count, and the world will be a better place because you tried.

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

Re: An Audience of One

Hi ian good song I tried it my way on an acoustic guitar a few times. I hope I did it the way you wrote it.Hope to hear you play it soon

my papy said son your going too drive me too drinking if you dont stop driving that   Hot  Rod  Lincoln!! Cmdr cody and his lost planet airman

Re: An Audience of One

Nice song Ian. It will be good to hear the way you intended it to be played but it's also nice to put your own interpretations in the mix too. Enjoyed playing that. Thanks.

Epiphone DR500
Taylor 710Ce-Ltd
Epiphone SG400
Fender Squier CV50 Telecaster

15 (edited by bolleauxp 2010-11-03 20:42:59)

Re: An Audience of One

Hi all

I have been trying for a while now to record this with very poor equipment and probably the worst cold I have ever had.  I have given up waiting for the cold to improve (I've had it for 3 weeks now) and I have simply done the best I can with what I have.  The voice is real croaky and I had to put my capo at fret 2 to try and find a key I could nearly hit.  The poor quality of the video itself is no bad thing - it saves you all from having to look at the face while listening.  I hope the poor quality doesn't detract too much and I promise my voice isn't always thus bad. 

Here you go       link removed
Ian

Being an impetuous kind of guy (you know the one who thinks instructions are for the use of idiots) I just uploaded the webcam output and didn't consider the required format so the song was cut very short.  Have removed it and working on conversion.  Will post new link when complete.

Ian

All things good to know are difficult to learn.
Greek Proverb

Re: An Audience of One

Hi Ian
Well done in get your song up on U tube. Nice melody and lyrics can't beat a love song...
The vid and song ended rather abruptly just an observation.
Thanks for sharing.
ark

Re: An Audience of One

Well done Ian I am so pleased to have heard this song. Great stuff.

Roger

"Do, or do not; there is no try"

Re: An Audience of One

Well that didn't take as long as I thought.  Here is the new link and this time the whole song is there  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqq4Fye-yKk

Ian

All things good to know are difficult to learn.
Greek Proverb

Re: An Audience of One

Well done Sir,

I gave you a comment on the tube. You have a grand voice with tones of Elvis i felt at times.

May i suggest this to you ! My brother in Law doesn't like to be seen on camera on the tube so
he points his camera at a lighting candle lol sounds wacky, but it works . It is better then a dark screen.

This is not meant to be a criticism, just an observation.

Very well done.

Old Doll.

Why Blend in with the Crowd ? When you were made to stand out !

Re: An Audience of One

Nice job Ian!  It's fairly similar to how I was playing it... I really enjoy this song!  smile

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

Re: An Audience of One

Thanks for the views and the comments.  I have been taking a little gurther advice on recording and have another 5 songs lined up to record.  They will be a better quality recording next time.  At the moment though these will have to go on the backburner for a little while as I am working on a song for my 4 month old grand daughter Amelia Rose to let her know how much she has touched me (when she's old enough to understand of course).  I have the melody, one verse and a chorus but I'm struggling with the rest.

Thanks again

Ian

All things good to know are difficult to learn.
Greek Proverb

Re: An Audience of One

I really enjoyed your song. The lyrics are evocative, and the chords you chose created a flowing, melancholy song.  Great work!