1 (edited by beamer 2019-11-06 19:35:33)

Topic: PROVERB (THE SONG)

Proverb 10/31/2019
(PM) = heavy palm mute   
(pm) = lite palm mute
(r/o) = ring out   
BPM = 157

V1
  Bm (PM)
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. And it also makes it wander,
G (PM)                       Bm (pm r/o)
Hearts start out so open and pristine
G   (PM)                                 Bm (pm r/o)
It’s not too long before you smell the kerosene

V2
  A (pm)
An open door may tempt a saint.
    Bm (pm)
The smell of her perfume can make you faint.
A (pm)
Lead us away from temptation,
F#
Don’t tip towards damnation.

[Chorus]
Bm                            G
To thine own self be true, this I say to you
D                                  A
To be anything else I cannot see.
Bm                                                 G
When you try to touch the sun you may get burned
D                                 A                                G
Still I fly to the sky, my lust for life still yearns to be free.

V3
Bm                                           
The war it must be fought, to stand up or stand not
G
The choice is yours tonight,
Bm
There is a war inside my mind,
F#
Do I lay down or seem unkind?

[Chorus]
Bm                            G
To thine own self be true, this I say to you
D                                  A
To be anything else I cannot see.
Bm                                                 G
When you try to touch the sun you may get burned
D                                 A                               G
Still I fly to the sky, my lust for life still yearns to be free.

[Bridge]
G                                             
You are no worse off when knowing your worst self
G
Can you learn from your past and sit it on the shelf?
F#
Time to build a life that will last!
A
Just shove that shit to the past!

A
So you turn back once more.
Bm                                                 A
It’s just one more step away. Not interested in an even score
A                                    Bm
No more games and no more words left to say
A                                         F#
It’s just one more step, one more step away!


[Chorus]
Bm                            G
To thine own self be true, this I say to you
D                                  A
To be anything else I cannot see.
Bm                                                 G
When you try to touch the sun you may get burned
D                                 A                                G
Still I fly to the sky, my lust for life still yearns to be free.

Music is a tribal experience, and it is about connection.  Figure out how to reach in and change their emotions. Learn how to put them in a mood. That’s what music is for.”-JH.
“..And remember, a song should contain only one story, or one message, told from a single point of view” - DG
Its the little mistakes that become great. and when it falls in place, the feeling is  indescribable.

Re: PROVERB (THE SONG)

Beamer
some really good lines in this one  I sense some bitterness there!
There a couple I don't understand - but that doesn't mean they aren't great - I just didn't get it.
I'm not     sure how to play it though. Is this a "metalizer" song ?

The BM and F#  kill me - I don't even know how to play them

I will look forward to hearing this one.

JIm     

Your vision is not limited by what your eye can see, but what your mind can imagine.
Make your life count, and the world will be a better place because you tried.

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

Re: PROVERB (THE SONG)

Beamer your lyric writing is top notch I like the way you do  that biblical cross over thing excellent.     

Re: PROVERB (THE SONG)

One hell of a mix there my friend; proverbs, sayings and biblical quotes!!! All mixed up with a raunchy, punk rock beat....total metalizer.
There is still some bile in your writing and I sense some regret? It works great. When will you be putting it on SoundCloud?     

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: PROVERB (THE SONG)

TIGLJK wrote:

Beamer
some really good lines in this one  I sense some bitterness there!
There a couple I don't understand - but that doesn't mean they aren't great - I just didn't get it.
I'm not     sure how to play it though. Is this a "metalizer" song ?

The BM and F#  kill me - I don't even know how to play them

I will look forward to hearing this one.

JIm


Jiim, they are power chords (basically root 5ths)  and the style fo rthis was the link in the poetry section.  I'll re-post it for ya.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NivdmQJmLAc        and acoustic version      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzaIHzdZtRY

Bm =  x 2 4 4 3 x
F# = 2 4 4 x x x

Ill be honest here, I plagiarized most the chord structure.  A few minor changes put in.  (Even when I play their song it still sounds like me! LOLOL)     

Music is a tribal experience, and it is about connection.  Figure out how to reach in and change their emotions. Learn how to put them in a mood. That’s what music is for.”-JH.
“..And remember, a song should contain only one story, or one message, told from a single point of view” - DG
Its the little mistakes that become great. and when it falls in place, the feeling is  indescribable.

Re: PROVERB (THE SONG)

Peatle Jville wrote:

Beamer your lyric writing is top notch I like the way you do  that biblical cross over thing excellent.


Thank you so much.

i just started with random proverbs and anecdotes, put my own spin on them for the next three lines and next thing I knew i had a story.     

Music is a tribal experience, and it is about connection.  Figure out how to reach in and change their emotions. Learn how to put them in a mood. That’s what music is for.”-JH.
“..And remember, a song should contain only one story, or one message, told from a single point of view” - DG
Its the little mistakes that become great. and when it falls in place, the feeling is  indescribable.

Re: PROVERB (THE SONG)

This version fits  better  Scott  are  you gonna  play in dropped  tuning   or standard ?     

Re: PROVERB (THE SONG)

I think these are the best lyrics I've seen in your songs Scott. 

I have a couple questions:
The chorus uses an ABCB rhyme scheme each time. The Bridge and three of the verses use an AABB rhyme scheme. The third verse uses an ABCC scheme. Was this planned?  If the first line was split into two lines and the  phrase "The choice is yours tonight" were removed it would follow the AABB structure of the other verses, but I've got a feeling the change  was intentional.  As we write in entirely different genres, I'm curious why you chose to make a change in that verse. Perhaps if I heard it played it would become clearer to me.

Also, the chorus uses a Bm,G/D,A/Bm,G/D,A,G pattern each time but the verses all use different chord configurations. Is this common in the style of music you play?

Anyway, keep up the good work and keep 'em coming.

DE     

I want to read my own water, choose my own path, write my own songs

Re: PROVERB (THE SONG)

Grah1 wrote:

This version fits  better  Scott  are  you gonna  play in dropped  tuning   or standard ?

I don’t know yet at least a  half step down for sure maybe a whole step.     

Music is a tribal experience, and it is about connection.  Figure out how to reach in and change their emotions. Learn how to put them in a mood. That’s what music is for.”-JH.
“..And remember, a song should contain only one story, or one message, told from a single point of view” - DG
Its the little mistakes that become great. and when it falls in place, the feeling is  indescribable.

10 (edited by beamer 2019-11-06 06:59:41)

Re: PROVERB (THE SONG)

Dirty Ed wrote:

I think these are the best lyrics I've seen in your songs Scott. 

I have a couple questions:
The chorus uses an ABCB rhyme scheme each time. The Bridge and three of the verses use an AABB rhyme scheme. The third verse uses an ABCC scheme. Was this planned?  If the first line was split into two lines and the  phrase "The choice is yours tonight" with this one ere removed it would follow the AABB structure of the other verses, but I've got a feeling the change  was intentional.  As we write in entirely different genres, I'm curious why you chose to make a change in that verse. Perhaps if I heard it played it would become clearer to me.
Also, the chorus uses a Bm,G/D,A/Bm,G/D,A,G pattern each time but the verses all use different chord configurations. Is this common in the style of music you play?

Anyway, keep up the good work and keep 'em coming.

DE

     

OMG I FEEL LIKE A ROCK STAR!!!!  KEN gave me a compliment big_smile   
And that's only half in jest.    Thank You all. I have been writing my rear end off since I was i think 12. and now at 51 almost 52 i feel like im getting a little close to getting it right.   
Ken, the only answer I have as to my patterns of rhyme is ...... I don't know any of the "prescribed" patterns.  i just fly by the hip, and make it fit! lolol.  With this one  I was just making lines fit with the main quote.   

I was out of song ideas. but took inspiration  From my inspiration of using the statue of liberty quotes, I just  went with this.

I have to send my thanks to my advisors though!!!  Thanks Graham, Derek and my guitar zoom friend Randy Nii  .

With their help i was able to lose dead weight and.......... write a better song.

OH and as far as song structure, I thank Stone Sour as they are the ones who provided it to the world.  big_smile

(Ken that's where I got the chord structuring for the chords.  I will send ya the link)

Thanks everyone this made my night!!!

Music is a tribal experience, and it is about connection.  Figure out how to reach in and change their emotions. Learn how to put them in a mood. That’s what music is for.”-JH.
“..And remember, a song should contain only one story, or one message, told from a single point of view” - DG
Its the little mistakes that become great. and when it falls in place, the feeling is  indescribable.