Bass Viking wrote:
That a girl! That's what I'm talking about! Wow, there is sure a lot of emotion to the words and I can hear it in your voice. I think that most of the time the best songs come from somewhere within that we don't express except in the words of a song. Nice job. Thanks for taking the time to do this because I never heard it in my head the way you did it and your way was much better than what I was hearing in my head! My only comment would be that your emphasis on the chorus and putting it in the song four times makes it a pretty long song, but then again, that is what strikes me as the true subject of the song because hurt and fragility scream out in your chorus.
Thank you for your kind words. As I read and re-read it a few times, I agreed with you which is why I chose to go ahead and do that quick recording as quickly as possible. It doesn't look anything like it sounds. I truly don't know how to express thoughts like that except in song... I suppose that's a problem the "man" in the song also seems to have which makes me question the whole meaning behind the song right now. BUT that is another story altogeather! LOL!!
I also agree about the Chorus... it seems as though it's too much, but then... it's where the verses make more sense. I was thinking of cutting out the verse that starts "Though trials and tribulations" but I really like the line "yesterday you loved me and last night you broke my heart." ... hmmm... maybe I can switch a few of the other lyrics up. What if I took that verse out and put the one line I like where it reads "I just can't live like this no more" ... it wouldn't shorten it a LOT but it would get it down a little from SIX FREAKING MINUTES! LOL!
I can honestly say, I've NEVER EVER had a poem, short story, or song come into my mind so quickly and be "completed" in less than 2 hours total ... I had another verse that was there too that I completely scratched. I guess as a poem it would have been quite long! LOL... perhaps I could go on forever writing sad stuff. As I look back on some of my writings over the years that I've saved, my best stuff was always rather miserable. SIGH!
Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.