• From: Starkville, Mississippi USA
  • Registered: 2006-03-04
  • Posts: 2,069

Topic: "Sneaky Squeaky Pants"

Here is an utterly goofy little ditty - a lively jig and a wry song of sweet love.
It is a slightly belated wedding present to Jamie and her beloved Jeremy.

Sneaky Squeaky PantsJames McCormick, December 21, 2008


A lively jig, and a slightly belated wedding gift for Jamie & Jeremy!


[G7]Ohhh . . .


I [C]spied a lovely maiden, a [F]fullsome [G]comely [C]wench


But [F]every time she took a step, there [G7]rose a noisy stench!


My [F]fantasies of love so bold, of [C]passionate ro-[G]mance . . .


Ex-[C]tinguished by her [F]sneaky [C]squeaky [G]creaky [C]pants.


[G7]Ohhh . . .


Her [C]pantaloons all shiny black as [F]tight as [G]they could [C]be


Her [F]figure oh so feminine ap-[G7]pealed perfectly!


Though [F]all her curvy pieces were [C]pleasing to the [G]glance . . .


Her [C]sashay was a ca-[F]cophony of [C]sneaky [G]squeaky [C]pants


[C7]Ohhh . . .


Her [F]sneaky, squeaky, creaky pants, Oh [C]cursed pantaloons . . .


Her [F]loveliness twas obscured by [G]all the noisy [G7]gloom . . .


Though [F]everything I saw did [C]make my heart to [G]swell . . .


[C]Her allures were [F]nullified by [C]sneaky [G]squeaky [C]knell . . . [G] . . .


[G7]Ohhh . . .


From [C]bellybutton up to top she [F]was a [G]sailor's [C]dream


But [F]every time her hips a-swayed her [G7]pants did scream


Like [F]rats within a dungeon and [C]banshees all a-[G]shriek . . .


The [C]sound oh so [F]hideous a [C]sneaky [G]squeaky [C]creak.


[G7]Ohhh . . .


[C]Sneaky squeaky pantaloons, O, [F]dreaded fashion [C]scourge


Oh, [F]tacky cheap, nasty vile, af-[G7]fliction to be purged



Woe [F]unto all who wear the pant, the [C]pant that dares to [G]speak . . .


Your [C]nights shall all be [F]lonely, your [C]future [G]surely [C]bleak.


[C7]Ohhh . . .


Her [F]sneaky squeaky pantaloons,[C]gruesome sounds to bear . . .


The [F]Naugahyde around her thighs, of-[G]fensive to the [G7]ear . . . .


Oh, [F]torturous loathsome garb, from [C]belly down to [G]cuff . . .


[C]Peel 'em off, [F]double quick, 'tis [C]better [G]in the [C]buff! . . . [G] . . .


[G7]Ohhh . . .


The [C]maiden did she doff the pant, the [F]pant that [G]squeaketh [C]sure


What [F]happened next I cannot tell, e-[G7]vents are all a blur


Ap-[F]parently we fell in love, we [C]dared to take a [G]chance . . .


[C]Life is so much [F]better now, no [C]sneaky [G]squeaky [C]pants!


[G7]Ohh . . .


No [C]sneaky squeaky pants (hooray!), no [F]gruesome [G]britches [C]now


No [F]Naugahyde around her thighs, no [G7]squeaky is allowed


Her [F]beauty and intelligence im-[C]possible to re-[G]sist . . .


That [C]lovely maiden and [F]I have [C]found do-[G]mestic [C]bliss!


[C7]Ohhh . . .


No [F]sneaky squeaky pantaloons,[C]gruesome sounds to bear . . .


No [F]Naugahyde around her thighs, of-[G]fensive to the [G7]ear . . .


No, [F]torturous loathsome garb, from [C]belly down to [G]cuff . . .


She [C]peeled 'em off, [F]double quick, twas [C]better [G]in the [C]buff!



"That darn Pythagorean Comma thing keeps messing me up!"
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pythagorean_comma[/url]

James McCormick's Website

  • From: A black hole in deep space
  • Registered: 2007-10-28
  • Posts: 7,862

Re: "Sneaky Squeaky Pants"

good one James it has that "irish rover" lilt to it, the candence kind of reminded me of a song (darn if I can recall it) part of the chorus "oh I descoverd a ***right before my eyes" (it will come to me later) fun song to play and sing along on nice writting James smile

"Growing old is not for sissies"

Russell_Harding's Website

  • upyerkilt
  • upyerkilt
  • Unofficial king of Scotland
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  • From: Balloch, Scotland, UK, Earth
  • Registered: 2006-03-04
  • Posts: 3,290

Re: "Sneaky Squeaky Pants"

funny lyrics james

good job

ken

ye get some that are cut out for the job and others just get by from pretending
  • Registered: 2006-03-04
  • Posts: 2,662

Re: "Sneaky Squeaky Pants"

Hi James,
   This is perhaps the coolest story, and wittiest delivery of song that I've personally seen regarding gettin' the pants off of a desired target!(haha) This is the stuff I think John Prine would've evolved to if he 'stayed in school'. This isn't  by any means a knock on J.P., but a complement to you Professor ( or Dr.?) McCormick. Hat's off, all due respect.........

Peace and Guitars,
SouthPaw41L

Give everything but up.
  • unhhuh
  • unhhuh
  • Senior Member
  • Offline
  • Registered: 2006-06-18
  • Posts: 123

Re: "Sneaky Squeaky Pants"

... i like this one...

Embrace what you love.
Start with you.
Do the next right thing.
  • From: Starkville, Mississippi USA
  • Registered: 2006-03-04
  • Posts: 2,069

Re: "Sneaky Squeaky Pants"

Gentlemen, thank you for your positive feedback!
The idea for this song came from a very brief video clip on my friend Jamie's MySpace page.
Here is Jamie's friend modeling some shiny black pants:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea … d=43328027

This goofy clip reminded me of a woman I worked with many many years ago.  I can't recall her name anymore, but she had excellent posture.  Sometimes she wore some shiny tight black pants and they made absurd noises as she moved - it was hard not to laugh.

'Sneaky Squeaky Pants' shall be recorded in a day or two . . .

"That darn Pythagorean Comma thing keeps messing me up!"
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pythagorean_comma[/url]

James McCormick's Website

7 Reply by daddycool (edited by daddycool 2008-12-22 10:27:58)

  • From: derbyshire
  • Registered: 2007-05-17
  • Posts: 2,843

Re: "Sneaky Squeaky Pants"

hi james its a scream aand how embarressing if its in a public place ha ha you.ve got a real "corker "in this one.well done.....stay  cool

love is life ,life is for love,keep a true heart and live life to the full....stay cool

daddycool's Website

  • From: Starkville, Mississippi USA
  • Registered: 2006-03-04
  • Posts: 2,069

Re: "Sneaky Squeaky Pants"

I have unleashed this ribald bit of doggerel upon the world!

Please give "Sneaky Squeaky Pants" a little listen here:
"Songs for Human and Autoharp"
http://www.myspace.com/r200james

"That darn Pythagorean Comma thing keeps messing me up!"
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pythagorean_comma[/url]

James McCormick's Website

  • Registered: 2007-05-27
  • Posts: 17

Re: "Sneaky Squeaky Pants"

wow!
James, you have something new for us every single day! lol! very nice.

How come we forget what we want to remember, and remember what we want to forget??