First of all Sir may I send you my best wishes, admaration, and thanks for the duty you have taken upon yourself.In the situation that you are in have you ever thought of doing any writing? What I'm saying is, if you are having a hard time keeping up with the players, use your instument as a springboard of accomplishment. Enjoy the freedom of expresion that music gives you. Tell of your experiences, thoughts and observations, in the very chaotic world that surrounds you.
GOOD LUCK & COME HOME SAFE