6,151

(8 replies, posted in Songwriting)

Tremendous advice, Roger. 

- Zurf

6,152

(3 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

I'm not an attorney, so don't take my word for it.  However, I believe the three strikes system is state by state.  The Federal government does not have criminal jurisdiction unless and until the particular crime crosses a state border.  In the scenario you described, the thief was caught in the state where the particular crime was committed.  The criminal would be tried and, if there is sufficient evidence, found guilty and punished by each sovereign state.  Now, if the person stole from a shop in Portland, Oregon, then another in Willamette, Oregon, then another in Columbia, Oregon and was convicted and sentenced separately for each crime then they could be sentenced under Oregon's "Three Strikes" legislation (if they have it - I don't know whether they do or don't). 

On the other hand, if the person stole guitars in Oregon and sold the stolen merchandise to someone in California and shipped them to that person, then the crime has crossed a state border and it is now Federal jurisdiction, as well as the jurisdictions of Oregon and California.  In other words, that particular criminal is facing charges in THREE jurisdictions for the same action and in a WHOLE lot of trouble. 

Again, take that explanation with a grain of salt because I'm not an attorney and while I do work in the field of law, I do not work in the field of criminal law.  My area of knowledge is Federal contracts legislation and regulation. 

- Zurf

And When I Die by Blood Sweat & Tears

Amazing Grace - any version.  Except the Scots bagpipe version.  I love the sound of that, but I want the lyrics sung.

Hard Working Pilgrim - bluegrass standard, can't recall who wrote it

Unchained - Johnny Cash performed it on his album of that name.  Songwriter is Jude Johnstone.  "Take this weight from me, let my spirit be unchained." 

- Zurf

6,154

(9 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Write back and let us know when the show will air.  I'd love to see you excel, and while no one has elected me spokeman, I suspect a lot of other Chordians would too.

- Zurf

6,155

(16 replies, posted in Acoustic)

gitaardocphil wrote:

This is my TURF ZURF (sooooorryyyy).

Oh sure, like you can trust a doctor.   big_smile

- Zurf

Now Old Doll, how can I not fret?  I play a guitar!  Of course, I could play my fretless bass and avoid the fretting. 

Thanks for the encouragement everyone.  This is just the way it is.  We got one girl potty trained about the time another came long.   It's been seven years of diapers and pull-ups and the dog just keeps getting older.  Life goes on.  It's good for the spirit to be humbled by things we can't control.  This is one of them.  I'll just keep investing in incense, steam cleaners, and enzyme solutions to remove the odor.   It reminds me of one fellow I worked with a long while ago.  He had seven children, each new one coming along about two years after the one before it.  Well, one day, this fellow was so happy.  Normally he was pleasant, but this one day he was just ebulient.  So, I asked him what was making him feel so good, and he told me.  He said, "Yesterday was the first day in fourteen years that I didn't change a diaper."  Now I understand. 

- Zurf

6,157

(9 replies, posted in Songwriting)

Like it.  At the second verse I was thinking, "Oh, here we go.  Another guitar player who mistakes his instrument for his thingy."  And then you do the shoot down in the third verse and I'm thinking, "Yeah!  That was unexpected.  Cool end!"

- Zurf

6,158

(17 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

SouthPaw41L wrote:

Drum Machines

We have a winner!

- Zurf

6,159

(8 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Buffett
Cash
Nelson (Willie variety, not the hair pop group)

- Zurf

6,160

(17 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

geoaguiar wrote:

Kid Rock and Sheryl Crowe duet (the name of the song escapes me (thankfully!)). What a steamy pile of pop monkey sh*&. Do they really need the money?

Whiskey Angel or something like that!  Right, the whole concept that people become angels when they die is stupid (but perpetuated by movies and such for some reason despite it being completely non-Scriptural and still supposedly based in a Christian-ish concept of heaven/hell/angels/demons).  Also, death isn't the sad part of drinking ones self to death.  It's the living while trying to make it happen that is sad.  Death is a sought-after relief from that kind of self-torture.  Dopey song.  Glorifies something that is extra-ordinarily damaging to everyone in the circumferance of the situation and then suggests that the person becomes an angel.  Something like that.  Horrible, horrible song.  Makes me want to smack Kid Rock right upside the head (but not Sheryl Crow - she's much too good looking so it can't be her fault). 

- Zurf

6,161

(17 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Guitarpix wrote:
Zurf wrote:

Honky Tonk Bedonkadonk.  Just about as stupid of a song as there has ever been written for Country music, and that's saying something.  Flat out dopey.  And it went way up the charts and stayed there, too.  Go figure.

- Zurf

You got to love the video though....lol

Never saw it. 

- Zurf

Because diamonds have value.

Sorry, metalheads.  I had to.  Don't get all up in arms, just a little cross-genre smacktalk.

I think it's because they tried to have an industrial sound and feel.  Think of big metal beams and pillars like you'd find in a bridge or joists for a skyrise building or enormous ship.  Think of rivets as big as your head, and I think you'll get the kind of "metal" feel they were going for with that name.

I've got no idea whether that's right, it's just what I always supposed they meant.

- Zurf

6,163

(16 replies, posted in Acoustic)

You want callouses.  Blisters are the quickest route there.  Good luck.  Suffer through and keep playing.  There's a lot of "home remedies", but there's no cure. 

- Zurf

Thank you James.


There was another verse I meant to end with, the ending of which was

"If it keeps up, I don't know what I'm going to do.
What'd I just step in?  Oh no, it's #2." 

But I didn't spend the effort to work out the first half of the verse.  It was getting late and the dog had to go out and there was a screaming girl with drippy training pants in my den...

Well, if it's wierd and never happened on a computer before, it's sure to happen to me.  That may explain my VERY short tenure as a computer repair center manager...

6,166

(3 replies, posted in Acoustic)

For some reason, my ring finger doesn't like to fret.  Oh, I can make it work, but especially on a G chord where it's all the way at the edge of the neck, it likes to slip around rather than just go straight down and hold the string in place. 

I try real hard to keep my back straight and my thumb on the side of the neck near the bottom (not directly at the bottom like I do with my bass), but I keep having the ring finger sliding around. 

Any suggestions? 

- Zurf

Not sure why it's showing up in that wierd way (at least on my screen), but it is.  I thought I followed the directions.  Apparantly the Chordie genies are requiring some sort of sacrifice from me I have yet to provide.

I haven't worked out the exact placement of the chords yet, but it's a simple country/folk ditty in G.  G,C,G,D (like pretty much everything I do).  When I sing it, it sings best in a 3/4 country waltz (though I don't blame you if you choose not to dance).   I put in some chords, but do what you want.  I know you will anyway.

I wrote this song in my head while cleaning the bedroom, the living room, and the family room carpets on Saturday.  It's Monday, and my wife has notified me that there are new spots to clean in the bedroom and the living room.  Harumph.  I wear out a steam cleaner about once a year. 

My Life Revolves Around PeeBy "D" Zurfluh



C1:


[G] My life revolves around pee.


[C] It constantly assaults my olfactory.


[G] It's on carpets and floors and up-hol-ster-[D]y


[D] Yes, my life revolves around [G] pee.


V1:


[G] An incontinent dog who goes three times a night


[C] Sometimes I sleep right through her plight


[G] In the morning I'll look at her favorite [D] spot


[D] And find what I find more often [C] than [G] not


C2:


[G] My life revolves around pee


[C] My life revolves around pee


[G] With that dog constantly leaving sur-[D]prises...


[D] (makes me wonder) Can you teach a Beagle Kegle exer-[G]cises?




V2:


My daughters are learning awfully slow


marking terr-i-tory wherever they go


It's everywhere, one place and another


As we pass middle age, it'll be me and their mother!



C3:


My life revolves around pee


Everywhere, on everything you see


Better life thorugh chemistry's my reaction


Relief comes solely from enzymatic action



V3


The carpet is stained and so is the chair


Visible reminders are everywhere


But the smell is worse than what you see


A mixture of Bissell solution, urine, and Vitamin C



Repeat C1:



Don't exist.  Just a different name for blessings.

- Zurf

6,170

(9 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

You've got to pick something that you are comfortable singing and that you like singing.  If you pick something that you don't like  merely to impress the auditioners, it will come through.  On the other hand, if you are enjoying yourself while playing, that will come through too. 

Sorry that I can't give you advice on a particular song. 

- Zurf

6,171

(6 replies, posted in Acoustic)

Real = Steely Dan
Tough to sound like Donald Fagan.  He's got his own style.  So, play the song but bring your style to it.  Everything's easy if you know how to do it.  It's learning how to do it that's hard. 

- Zurf

Doc,

There's a lot of places where you belong, but I'm thinking the priesthood isn't one of them.  But with your medical studies you do know some Latin already!  So you've got that going for you.  If you could get Greek and Aramaic under control, well.... maybe.

- Zurf

6,173

(29 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Well, I was working in a music store and made up a lie about a kid not having any money to buy a guitar.  He was really Bill Gates's kid and owns the store, but you know I was just having a little fun.  Ends up that guy I was talking to ... 

Um, no, wait! 

Smooth move, Guitarpix.  I've done similar things with fishing tackle.  Last time I gave my favorite rig (it wasn't expensive, just my favorite) to a kid who was hanging out at the ramp asking everyone who came along how their fishing went.  He was there with his family - no Dad in sight.  He said his Momma couldn't afford a rod for him.  He wound up with mine, plus a few bags of lures.   I've given lures away to kids to, and helped kids out with their Moms learn to cast and that sort of thing.  It's important for those of us who've been blessed to share our blessings with those in need.  Never something as cool and expensive as a guitar, though.  That is truly generous and kind. 

As far as stupidest things - not investing in my "ghost" portfolio.  I put together a "ghost" portfolio of stocks to see how I could do with picking stocks without actually investing.  It did very well.  Had I invested in it rather than just track it safely, I'd have a lot more money right now with no more effort. 

- Zurf

6,174

(11 replies, posted in Songwriting)

This has been helpful, and I appreciate everyone's advice.  Thank you very much. 

- Zurf

Paul Simon is extremely prolific and is surely in the running. 

James Taylor has had hundreds of songs on albums, let alone just written.  That's amazing too.  He's up there, I'm sure.

Barry Manilow, if you include jingles, is probably in that running as well.  He wrote advertising jingles early in his career, and probably wrote hundreds of those before even releasing a record.  And then he's been releasing a record every year or two for the past thirty years, and writing with and for others.  He's got to be in the running.

Willie Nelson has been writing songs for close to fifty years.  He's been known to write as many as three a week, once even three in a day!  He's got to be in the running as well.

While James Brown's accomplishment is surely admirable, I suspect it doesn't get him a crown.

- Zurf