Having gone through a marriage break up I know the story well. You've written this song as if you have knowledge of it. You have made one error, my friend, though I can say I almost hated my ex by the time I left (and still do! ) I still cried at the thought I was leaving something I'd invested in and my two son's which I wasn't allowed to see. Then I met my soul mate Ann, and we celebrate 40 years in May.
Thanks for bringing up a part of my life I'd rather forget but you did it so well that I forgive you...lol     

Brilliant, if anyone wants a good laugh i recommend this song     

Hi Brian. The weak minded will always follow the latest trends...remember hipster trousers? I still have bad feet after winkle picker shoes! We had a big thing a couple of years back concerning GM foods, that has gone quiet so we're probably eating it without our knowledge! Still, this third arm comes in very handy at times...lol

(I had to chuck the joke in as this thread is getting very serious)     

Cockles are a small shellfish which are in great abundance here as is lavabread or seaweed, my father loved cockles with lavabread and bacon for breakfast! I prefer my bacon in a full English, yum yum.

Cawl is a kind of soup traditionally made with lamb, potatoes and various veg all boiled together in a big crochan or pot in English.

Welsh curry is not made from Welshmen but if it was it would taste great and sing sweetly to the sound of a Welsh harp! One side of my extended family are from India and they love their goat curry. I prefer chicken madras myself     

I often cut the pointy end off chocolate eggs! Then suck out the creme inside. Well done Brian you made me laugh out loud on a cold, wet,depressing windy day.     

Fudge stripes? nope never heard of them Zurf. Pickled eggs and pig trotters (feet) are also consumed this side of the pond along with cockles (sourced locally) lava bread (seaweed)  cawl, and of course Welsh curry , then you will need reinforced seat belts as you may become rocket fueled...lol     

Hi Grah, hope you're well?

Why break them in half? When I get up I eat 2 bananas while I check my emails and Chordie. That done I get 2 mcvities chocolate digestives and a cheeselet and make a sandwich choc side in, milk obligatory! delish!     

really soulful Pete almost blues-y, suits your voice. I can almost see the sailors hoisting the mainsail while singing this song. Nice bit of a history lesson too, thanks for that. Hey-ho and up she rises or whatever that would be in the south sea languages?     

Pete, I was about half way down your poem with a mouthful of custard when I read that line, and I'm afraid I made a mess on my screen with yellow mattered custard conforming to the laws of gravity and pooling on my desk and (hopefully) plucking the strings of invention, here goes;

her eyes were somewhat cloudy
and just like the stars her teeth came out at night
her underwear was always ironed to perfection
and only rarely did they see her passions flight
she sat amongst her widowed friends
drinking slowly to make their pension last
but tonight emboldened by the artistes smile
the G&T kept sinking fast.
ambition quarreled with her pride
her cheeks were all aglow
this strangers smile and lustful glance
took her back to teenage years once more.
soon the show was over
the artist said "goodnight"
younger women crowded round
she knew she'd have a fight.
hair and claws and screams and slaps
her age and knowledge won the day
she looked around for her spoils of war
but the swine had run away.     

Morcomb and Wise had a joke that went something like; two old men on the beach one says "nice out ain't it?" The other replies "well put it away people are looking!"
Moral...I'd be worried if people laughed at my "funny" bits...lololol

Yea, got that out of my system. When I played gigs I used to love it when people danced or sang along, laughed when I cracked a joke or clapped when I finished a song...aaahhh the good old days!

Before anyone says it...I never got pelted with rotten fruit