476

(26 replies, posted in Poems)

that my friend is a double dip, a real groaner. it's my type of humour and i can say from experience highly underrated!

eg; a dirty joke...man fell in the mud

Q: how many aeroplanes can you get under a Scotsman's kilt?

A: all depends on the size of the hangers     

477

(26 replies, posted in Poems)

The more toys you have the more there is to go wrong! My last car had the works...keyless entry, windows roll up when you walk away as well as lock. Until one day the windows rolled down and wouldn't go up again. Luckily it was still under warranty. My present car is plain and simple, everything is manual. A pain sometimes when I have a hand full of amps but say lavvy?(toilet humour again)     

478

(26 replies, posted in Poems)

over the last 53 years (since I was old enough to drink...legally) I've spent a lot of time in bars but not one funny story comes to mind. I've seen fights and a lot of smooching and near the knuckle things. But I must tell you about an incident that happened today.

It all began two weeks ago when some idiot smashed my sons rear window on his car. So, the guy turns up to replace the glass and slams the tailgate so hard it jammed so it wouldn't open. ten days later it was taken into the garage for repair. two days ago I took Lee to fetch his car and he drove it home. Today I get a call to say his car wont start. He calls the garage, a fitter comes out and says it's not the battery, scratches his head and leaves the scene! Lee checks you tube and finds a video that tells him how to cure the problem, I get a call and he asks if I could bring a socket set to disconnect the battery which will re-set everything. I go over to find he's opened the bonnet (hood) and taken the negative lug off, and stripped the thread in the process. So, following the instructions I said let's see if that's sorted it? I replaced the lug and there was a click. Lee went to open the door to find it was locked. Where's the key he asked of his wife (normally the brains of the outfit) I left it in the ignition, locked inside the car!!! A helpful passer by suggested getting a wire and looping it around the handle inside the car or calling a locksmith which would cost around £200...nah! We struggled for an hour but failed to get the wire to loop around the handle. The only other solution was to smash the quarter light. Before doing that I said, have you got a spare key? nope. So a wrecking bar appeared and went through the quarterlight and the key was retrieved. The car started first time, so Youtube was right, but at a cost of close to £500! I came home and told Ann that those two are a wonderful couple but a disaster zone.

479

(26 replies, posted in Poems)

Genius     

480

(8 replies, posted in Songwriting)

Pedr, it could be about either it could even be about a road trip...it's how the listener or reader interprets the story. I've been working on a song for a while and every time I go back to it it changes theme. I always thought Bohemian Rhapsody was about passing the AIDS virus, but apparently I was wrong it's just how I interpreted it. Come on Jim where's the recording?     

481

(8 replies, posted in Songwriting)

Great song Jim. I didn't get that songwriter reference I thought it was about a lost soul searching for a home?     

482

(13 replies, posted in Songwriting)

Jim. I once drank half a bottle of Drambuie through a straw resulting in being very ill! Now it turns my stomach...a little info; whiskey is normally Irish and whisky is Scotch or Scottish whisky. The Irish is smoother and bourbon smells awful to me, not that I'm a connoisseur or anything...     

483

(13 replies, posted in Songwriting)

i like the song. i like the recording. i don't like whisky!
Ann makes me drink it with honey and lemon and warm lemonade when i have a sore throat or a cold coming on.
i like the stereo effect you get, Peatle gets it too, vocal in one ear, guitar in the other.     

484

(9 replies, posted in Songwriting)

soooo laid back, and as a retired person I can agree with all sentiments.     

485

(3 replies, posted in About Chordie)

Probably the same reason as you posted this 3 times! I dare say one of our mods or a savvy member will come along and put you right.     

486

(13 replies, posted in Songwriting)

I like this song Jeff and Pete's joke too!
I haven't listened yet but I am eager to hear it. Let you know when I do. Great words.     

487

(9 replies, posted in Poems)

Thanks Jan, completely off the cuff. When something strikes my imagination out it comes!

Thanks Jeff, I doubt if I can replicate your sound or feel but I'll give it a go.     

488

(6 replies, posted in Poems)

Shwmae Pedr. Glad to see those creative juices haven't dropped down the drain with the rain! He he he


The music was rocking
The listeners were dancing
The clouds were gathering
The plops in the puddles
Got folks looking skyward
The electric musicians were rushing to cover
Guitars amps and keyboards
As the rain started falling
Water was running like rivers in torrents
Down drains with a gurgle
And the music was lost
With the rain down down the sewers

Just thinking about Glastonbury and Kiwi weather!     

489

(9 replies, posted in Poems)

I've been on here since 2007 (I think) while I was on holiday in Perth Australia. I found it through looking for a song! When I came home to Wales, I decided to look for a forum for song writers and Chordie came up and I've been here (being a pain) ever since. I've seen lots of names come and go, they all raised a smile, some as they came some as they went...lol.

They came with a flourish of a keyboard stroke
Some with strange names, some act the goat
Some thought themselves above all the rest
Some from the East, most from the West

Even though music is the focus on here
Some spoke of football or rugby of camping or who knows what
Of illness or worries or how do I play this chord?
We're all here to learn, to teach or just share
Most I'll never meet, so sad cos I care...

490

(10 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

get a book. with video tutorials they tend to go too fast over the bits you want to know or miss them completely. at least with a book you can go back as many times as you like and as is said above "do it your way not the proper way". i've been playing guitar for 55 years and i'm still learning don't expect to be Clapton or Segovia in days, it will take years and then maybe never! who cares, be yourself and most of all...enjoy playing.     

The door opened wide and the child burst in
A tornado in a Macintosh and short pants
Shaking off the rain and clutching his nanna
I love you nan, he said and kissed her cheek
Were off now to Disney land... goodbye, goodbye
Yahoo, he screamed and was gone in a flash
We walked to the door and waved as the car drove away
See you soon, enjoy and closed the door.
Tea? Yeah why not!     

492

(15 replies, posted in Poems)

Hi Jandle. This poem is from 2021, we've since recovered with no I'll effects. Thanks for the kind wishes. Hope your cough gets better soon, there's nothing worse than a coughing fit in the middle of the night. I was once told of a singers remedy which is (in imperial measures) a pint glass of water, a soup spoonful each of sugar, bicarb and salt, take a mouthful and gargle as far back into your throat as you can stand it, but don't swallow! You can keep the rest in the fridge to take when necessary. It kills throat infections. I used to get white lumps at the back of my throat but no longer!
I'd forgotten about this poem till Daniel dug it up, thanks Daniel. Reading something you've forgotten about is like reading someone else's work for the first time. Thanks for looking and kind comments.     

493

(13 replies, posted in Poems)

thank you Daniel but that boat has sailed. there seems to be a demarcation line between my songs and my poems. i think songs should be reasonably serious and poems laced with humour. BTW welcome to Chordie     

494

(8 replies, posted in My local band and me)

Yes I enjoyed that. You have a long and varied background. You're never too old, look at McCartney don't give up, show the kids how it's done!     

495

(6 replies, posted in Songwriting)

Jim I noticed you'd copied the song 3 times I hope you don't mind that I've deleted 2 ?     

496

(6 replies, posted in Songwriting)

beautiful heart felt message Jim.     

497

(3 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

irony...i love it     

498

(13 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

I see I'm the first from the northern hemisphere to reply? So...the weather is changeable as has been my health. Ann and my daughter in law have been pushing me to do maintenance around the property, which means a lot of mixing concrete, building a new shed (a man must have a shed) painting and laying a new floor in the kitchen. So that leads me to aches and pains etc!
My brain is devoid of anything original and my fingers are stiff and painful so no guitar or piano playing. Just like Richard I have no chordians near by to chat with over beverages, hot or cold! I have a little time in the mornings to check chordie out and my emails. And an hour at night if I'm able.
I'd also like to thank Jan for the great work she's doing with FSOTM. Sorry for not joining in, I will one day I hope.

Rock on guys and gals     

499

(5 replies, posted in Poems)

That is such a lovely poem/song, I wish I'd written it! Writers say that an empty page is more scary than Putin (or poo tin) you've made it sound the opposite. A glimmer of hope to those (like me at the moment) whose words have dried up. A nice title may be, the other shoe to drop, which I love or keep on keeping on. Both titles would explain your words and offer encouragement.
You've done a great job and a recording would be good.     

500

(9 replies, posted in Songwriting)

Inspiration can come from many sources. Hope you can sort out your differences.