(7 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Yesterday Nelson Mandela passed away aged 95 from a lung infection.
For most of us South Africans he was forgiveness and reconciliation personified.
A sad day for our country and indeed the whole world to lose such a man.



(10 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Zurf wrote:

Is it bad when the massage therapist says "Holy crap!" a lot? And sometimes, "That's not supposed to be like that!"

Zurf, you need to really worry when the therapist says " I'm going to need to call in my friend who is a panel

Kudos to you for doing it, next time will be easier, pretty soon you wont feel it at all.



(6 replies, posted in Poems)

Man, that sounds like a horribly fascinating show to watch, like how we drive past the scene of a motor accident and cant seem to stop ourselves from gawking at the carnage.

Family values seem lacking these days in certain societies.


(6 replies, posted in Poems)

Great poem Phill, my opinion on the whole drug culture is pretty much the same as yours.

With all the knowledge out there from news reports to so called celebrities dying from overdosing I am constantly amazed that people START taking drugs.I'm sure they all think they are recreational users ( whatever the heck that means ) who can control the habit.

The odds at quiting for good at rehab are not so hot either so I find it difficult to have much sympathy for the users. The families that are affected are the ones I would try to help if I had the oppertunity.

Anyway, like I said , great poem.



(3 replies, posted in Poems)

Will do Phil, thanks.

On the flip side of this situation I witnessed my friend give an oppertunity to a guy who is learning guitar, he is a regular customer at this one particular drinking establishment.

The guy took the guitar, messed up ' Behind blue eyes " by The Who and then told my friend that he was trying to embarass him by MAKING him come on stage and play.

In my books a total loser.


(3 replies, posted in Poems)

This is a lovely poem, I am sure many of us can relate to these feelings and thoughts.

Great job Tobijansma


(3 replies, posted in Poems)

My friend is a semi - professional musician who used to play every weekend at various pubs around our neighbourhood. I had this idea for a poem / song after a customer tried to hijack the stage one evening.
The Manager told this customer that he can " have a go " with whatever equipment he wanted to play.

Another Friday night that I do my thing
My Ovation and I, together we sing
Dylan and Diamond, Beatles and Stones
We draw the line at the effing Deftones

We play them all, whatever you choose
us two on stage, watching you booze
As you shake off those tensions
and the work you dont mention

So you know A7 and are proud of your G
and you play E minor way better than me
Demand to do a song or three
Try grab my baby, dethrone me

So I pack my things, prepare to go
Management shout that line I wont toe
Im tired now and dont need a fight
Im told the customer is always right.


(231 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

I was visiting my daughter and son-in-law the other night
when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

'This is the 21st century, old man,' he said.
'We don't waste money on newspapers.
Here, you can borrow my iPad.'

I can tell you, that bloody fly never knew what hit it.


(1 replies, posted in Poems)

Growing up together
A bond stronger than steel
Birds of a feather
Friends for life, deal?

One day you missed meeting me
Outside the school
Hit and run driver
Red light equals green?

Shiny white machines
Kept you from departing
There is always hope
They had said, unbelieving

You proved Them all wrong
gave Death his ticket back
Your broken body healed
Scars now familiar medals

I am a stranger to you now
Introduce myself every time
You sit in your deafening silence
My tears flow freely

Our bond is broken, shattered
my memories all that remain
Of the friend I lost
Brother I never had.


(231 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

M.B. wrote:


I love your Scottish jokes--they sound just like the  Ole and Lena (Norwegian) jokes that everybody tells around here in Minnesota.

Thanks M.B.

I am from Scotland even though I now live in South Africa so I feel entitled to make Scottish jokes.

Did you know that there are only two Scottish jokes?.

All the other stories are true.

Tell us some of Ole and Lena jokes that make you laugh.


Here is to another 27 wonderful years to you and your wife.


(231 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch.
For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin'... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your   thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's noo aboot time for a wee cuddle." The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few     seconds. Then he blushed.

And the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg." The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her  knee. Then he blushed.

Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

The young man glanced down with a furled brow. "Well, noo," he said, 'my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time.'

"Really?" said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
"Aye," said the lad, nodding.
The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.

Then he said, "Dae ye nae think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"



(21 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

I came across this article in a local ( South African ) website.
Thought it makes for interesting reading.
Makes me appreciate the guitars I am fortunate enough to own.

Are we spoiled?

We are truly blessed to live in an age where guitars are plentiful, generally good quality and relatively inexpensive, but has that turned us all into guitar gadflies?
In the '50's and '60s guitars were relatively expensive luxury rather than a plentiful commodity as they are today. Players had few choices between brands and even less between models. Features… well, if you wanted a Gibson, Martin or a Fender you were stuck with whatever features were standard at the time.
At one end of the spectrum were the “entry level† mail order or chain store instruments (still a fairly big chunk of money by the standards of the time), which were notoriously badly made and difficult to play. At the other end there were the brands like Fender, Gibson and Martin - good instruments but horribly expensive (particularly in countries still reeling from the after-effects of WWII). There was little to nothing in the middle ground between these two extremes. Owning more than one quality instrument was a luxury few could afford.
This meant that choosing your first professional instrument was a serious affair; it was something you had worked towards, scrimped and saved towards for months if not years. Thanks to the price, the chances were good it would be your only pro-level instrument and one you would stick with for years – if not the rest of your life.
The upside to this is that players learned everything there was to know about their guitar (and amp), all the ins and outs, and to a large degree, we bonded with them. We knew every annoying idiosyncrasy, every ding had a story and, most importantly, players learned how to make the most of what they had. You had to learn how to get your guitar sounding its best in any situation. If your bridge pickup too bright, you turned down the tone when you switched pickups. If you needed both clean and drive sounds in a song, you would use your guitar’s volume control, alter your playing dynamics or right hand position. Above all, you had to listen and adjust accordingly. I’m firmly convinced that this generally made for better players.
In these halcyon days of conspicuous consumption, when great guitars are available for a relatively slender slice of your paycheck, it’s commonplace for us to have a range of different instruments. We refer to them with collective phrases like “the herd†, “the collection† or “the stable†. If there is something we don’t quite like in a guitar, we sell it and move on to one of another thousand similar (but different) guitars and try that instead. But do we spend the time getting to know any of our instruments in a way that would make us much better players? Do we bond the same with them?
More importantly, do we learn that we have to listen to our playing and tonality? The staggering number of YouTube gear “demonstrators† who seem to blissfully unaware that the room they are playing in sounds like a tin can, their mic is distorting or the simple fact that they are not even in tune begs to differ.


I had the good fortune to get invited by friends to see the Eagles perform at Soccer City in Johannesburg last month.
Those guys can still hit the high notes and play their instruments so frikking well.
Awesome is all I can say.

Seeing and hearing great musiscians inspires me to practice MORE!!!!!!!!.


(231 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant last night...

"Did you smell that food?" she asked...  "Incredible!"

Being the 'Kind Hearted Scotsman', he thought,

"What the heck, I'll treat her!"

  ...So they walked past it again...


(231 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

This  is the
story of  the poor blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just
the pilot.He  has a heart attack
and dies.  She frantically calls a May Day:
Day!  May Day!  Help me!  Help me!  My pilot had a heart
attack and is dead. And I don't know how  to fly.  Help me!
Please help me!"
All  of a sudden
she hears a voice over the radio saying: "This  is the tower.  I
have received your message and I will talk you through it.  I've had
a lot of experience with this kind of problem.  Now, just relax.
Everything will be fine!  Now give me your height and position."
She  says,
"I'm 5'2" and I'm in the front  seat."
"O.K." says
the voice from the tower.  "Repeat after me:  Our Father. . .
Who art in heaven..."

Senile Dementia

Heavy Currents


(231 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

For those  who love words...
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.....and then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose entire left side was cut off? Well!!! He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell into wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

The geology professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.


(4 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Thats a terrible thing to happen.

Guitarpix wrote:

I'm not able to play for a few days...  Was installing a 3.5 lift to my 93 XJ and the wrench slipped and my arm hit the pinch seem of the body below the rockers and sliced my forearm. Only about 3 inches long but deep and if I extend my fretting arm too much the wound tears open again... Probably needs stitches but I superglued it closed and am going to take it easy for a few days while it heals up.

Perhaps when your arm heals you could play The first cut is the deepest by Cat Stevens.

I'm trying to learn a picking version of As tears go by by the Stones.
So far so good.

Jamie R


(27 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Anybody else out there in Chordie land like Achy Breaky heart by Billy Ray Cyrus?.

I know the song is cheesy as ,well cheese actually, but I love it.

Jamie R


(27 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

tubatooter1940 wrote:
jamier wrote:

How could I forget La Bamba by Ritchie Valence.

Love that tune ( I get a lot of stick for this one from friends and family ).

Been playing this song in a medley with "Shake it up Baby" by the Beatles. Back and forth from one to the other. A,D and E. Fun!

Sounds like fun toots. I will admit though that the Spanish is a bit beyond me, I mumble the verses and rock the chorus.

Jamie R


(27 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

How could I forget La Bamba by Ritchie Valence.

Love that tune ( I get a lot of stick for this one from friends and family ).

Would the price be " adjusted " too?.

Seriously now, I have never heard of a folding guitar before.
Are they really viable instruments for a decent player or just something you buy to impress your mates ( once )?.

Like Zurf, I would probably not buy one.


(27 replies, posted in Chordie's Chat Corner)

Any Bee Gees song, my favorite is I started a joke.

Abba - Waterloo and Take a chance on me.