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very nice; I think they'd make sweet song lyrics!  particularly like the verses:

If I could no longer see
When the light in my eyes would leave me
I would still be looking for you
And I would find you too
If I could no longer see…..

If I could no longer speak
When the sound of my voice was to weak
In spite of my pain
I would whisper your name
If I could no longer speak….

beautiful! - T

Judy, I LOVE this!  wonderful!.... (both posts of it!)    keep writing!

hard to focus on what was had, rather than what was lost.  this is a very sad and touching write.

Hi Lane, both pieces seem sad, but I must admit to not fully understanding their meaing.  would like to understand them better.  Perhaps they might come together as one?  Love your writing style.  Best -T

Who among us has not been plagued by hate, greed, envy, lust, self-recrimination?  Who among us has not felt unprepared & alone?  Who among us has not passed on opportunities to do the right thing for ourselves or others?  Who among us doesn’t long for someone else’s bounty, including the freedom we “perceive"  they have?

“The lamp is on, bright light sweeps" …. What a wonderful, descriptive line! With just one short line you’ve set the entire scene for me of one sitting alone, baron room, hard wood chair, pendulum of light swinging back & forth; being pummeled with questions.  But we learn that the writer is being questioned by one’s own heart; imprisoned by conscience.  The bright conclusion here, however, is the realization that we hold the keys to the prison within ourselves – the first steps to change and freedom from self-loathing.  Once this level of awareness has been established, I suppose learning how to truly utilize those keys would be the ultimate path to freedom!

Wonderful, wonderful write FF! Please keep sharing your deep and thoughtful insights.  Thank you

very lovely! 
regards, ~T

I like this: simple, direct, to the point, and sweet - what some of the best songs are made of.  has one other quality: 'connectability'... reminds me of someone special.  keep writing! ~T

Hi Selso, nice poem, sad story, the makings of a touching song.
best line:
"We tried to play house
Without building a home"
good stuff...keep writing! -T

Hey, don't underestimate the hillbillies; you'll have them all in sloppy tears, crying in their beer!  Besides, who says ya need to please the hillbillies!?  Anyway, glad I sparked some inspiration for that bridge; no biggie on the credit, just go with it! take care, -T

this is absolutely beautiful, will make a wonderful wonderful song; look fwd to hearing it! -T

Wow Amy, both of your songs on soundclick are terrific!  I am very impressed by your voice!  Wouldn't be surprised to find you singing in Chelsea or the down in the Village in some little nightclub in NYC!  I've always wished to have the ability to carry a tune, but wasn't blessed with vocals, so I stick to poetry...:/....Please continue writing and singing...you really have something there!  best, -T

Hi Phil, I really like this; the pain, the tenderness, the love, the desire to get started working on repairing what's been chipped away -- it all comes through.  When two have a relationship that's worth repairing, that 'One Word' will happen and open the diologue.  All that pride and stubborness that get in the way of that "One word, one simple word", wastes so much time that's better spent loving!  I hope it all works out in your favor, good luck! -T
PS...great therapy, this writing stuff, eh?