Hi Phil,
Loved your ode to your grannie. Very well written.
Keep it up.
Regards & cheers
Kiwi John
1 2008-08-11 21:07:52
Re: Ode To Mary-Ellen (8 replies, posted in Songwriting)
2 2008-02-11 08:52:06
Re: My Number One Girl (15 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi Jets60,
A good song, well plotted, to the point.
And, yes; I try not to dump my s***on my best friend.
And, sometimes, she resents it.
Tact and reading moods is not my strongest asset.
Well done sir.
Regards & cheers
Kiwi John
3 2008-02-08 05:29:16
Re: CARMEN (3 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hello to you all from Kiwi John,
I'm delighted that CARMEN perplexes you.
As I said, the poem popped into my head, I wrote down what it told me to.
As far as I know, CARMEN, is an allegorical tale. It is a love story about how people can accept and forgive, mistakes made by others.
Something that we should all try to do.
Thankyou for your critique.
Kiwi John
4 2008-02-06 10:03:47
Topic: CARMEN (3 replies, posted in Songwriting)
This little poem popped ito my head today, I had to write it down.
My Joy was slow to comment.
Opinions, critique, anyone??
Kiwi John.
CARMEN
CARMEN IS A STATUE, IN A LITTLE CATHOLIC CHURCH
SHE STANDS BESIDE MARY, QUEEN OF HEAVEN AND EARTH
THE CHURCH IS IN A CITY, TO WHICH I GIVE NO NAME
CARMEN IS A STATUE, WITH A MODICUM OF FAME
PARISHONERS WILL TELL YOU, THE STATUE’S ALWAYS BEEN
STANDING BESIDE MARY, HEAVENLY QUEEN
WHERE DID CARMEN COME FROM, NO-ONE REALLY KNOWS
THEY ARE STRANGELY SILENT, WHEN QUESTIONS GET TOO CLOSE
A YOUNG PRIEST FRESH FROM TRAINING, WAS SENT TO THE CITY CHURCH
FATHER TOM O,CONNOR, BEGAN HIS YEARS OF WORK
HIS EYES WERE DRAWN TO CARMEN, AND HE WONDERED WHY
CARMEN’S STATUE, IN HIS CHURCH, SHOULD LIE
HE QUESTIOND HIS PARISHONERS, NO-ONE WOULD TELL WHY
CARMEN’S STATUE IN HIS CHURCH, SHOULD STAND BY MARY’S SIDE
AND HE OFTEN WONDERED, AS THE CURIOUS WILL DO
WHY CARMEN’S STATUE, STOOD BENEATH HIS ROOF
HE QUESTIONED HIS PARISHONERS, QUESTIONED THEM ONE BY ONE
NONE WOULD GIVE AN ANSWER, WHY THE STATUE HAD A HOME
WITHIN THE CHURCH, BESIDE THE SAINTS
THAT HE TAUGHT HIS PEOPLE, TO VENERATE
LIPS WERE SILENT, HIS CURIOSITY UNSLAKED, ABOUT CARMEN
AND, THE YEARS SLID SLOWLY BY, YEAR FOLLOWING YEAR
FATHER TOM GREW SLOWLY GREY, HIS PARISHONERS HELD DEAR
THE MAN WHO GAVE HIS TIME TO HELP
THE POOR, AND THOSE WHO FEARED
THEY FORGAVE, THE ATTENTION HE PAID, TO CARMEN
FATHER TOM DIED, AS ALL MEN DO, HIS BODY THEY INTERRED
WITHIN THE CHURCH’S BURIAL GROUND, WHERE HE WAS LAID TO REST
IN A FAR CORNER PLOT, A TABLET OF STONE
STOOD BY ITSELF, STRANGELY ALONE
THERE AN OLD MAN STOOD, AND HE SADLY WEPT
HIS HEAD BOWED LOW AND SORROWFUL, TEARS APON HIS CHEST
CARMEN, MY DEAREST, DEAREST CHILD, MAY YOU BE AT REST
HE CALLED HER, CARMEN
CARMEN IS A STATUE, IN A LITTLE CATHOLIC CHURCH
SHE STANDS BESIDE MARY, QUEEN OF HEAVEN AND EARTH
THE CHURCH IS IN A CITY, TO WHICH I GIVE NO NAME
CARMEN IS THE STATUE, OF A GIRL WHO DIED IN SHAME
5 2008-02-05 20:58:51
Re: Music please (9 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi Phil,
What lovely lyrics; a tune?
What were you thinking/focusing on when you wrote this?
There is a touch of wistfulness and regret? in what you've written.
I would suggest a theme around a minor key to begin; finish with major chords in the last verse.
This will focus on your descision; She'll be sorry, when I'm a man.
I may have a play around with this, see what I can come up with.
Regards & cheers
Kiwi John
6 2008-02-05 20:51:07
Re: "My Celtic Mist" by Helena Donovan (18 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi Helena,
Loved your song. Had a wee bit of trouble working out the timing; is it a basic 4/4 beat??.
Good words, I'll try it on guitar soon with this in mind.
Happy Soggy Emerald Isle.....
Welcome to you, from Sunny Drought Stricken Marlborough NZ...
We have to boil our drinking water, E-coli contamination.
You can walk across our largest river, the Wairau.
Regards & cheers & keep on writing!!
Kiwi John
7 2008-02-02 19:01:30
Re: "My Cowbelle" (15 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi James,
Pardon my my less than university educated ignorance..
Could you please explain "the handles"
Regards & cheers
Kiwi John
8 2008-02-02 09:32:11
Re: Cry For Me Dwynwen - New Song (3 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi Temus99,
Meaningful lyrics, a heart felt prayer.
I like it.
Regards & cheers
Kiwi John
9 2008-02-02 09:28:03
Re: "If I Had My Way" (8 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi Jets60,
Love the lyrics, good song.
Keep on writting, God Bless.
Kiwi John
10 2008-01-22 05:18:21
Re: "Slave" (25 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi there Sweeties,
I love cats, mad about them. I've written a song about my moggie too.
Does that make me a weirdo???
I can take the finger pointing, you know...
What song are you going to write, Gerry Woods??
Cat Lov,n Kiwi John.
MEOW!!!!!!!!!!
11 2008-01-22 05:01:38
Topic: PLEASE EMAIL YOUR SYMPATHY (3 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi Old Doll & Others of you all, with tender hearts,
I just had to write a song for 2008,I felt DRIVEN, to do so.
So, here tis..my effort for today..
read..enjoy...critiqe...................please!!
Old Doll, I wrote this one with you in mind.
Purely platonic, no naughty, hinty stuff!!
And..........yes...it was raining when I wrote this..
Regards, cheers, & hugs
Kiwi John
PLEASE EMAIL YOUR SYMPATHYKEY G 4/4 swing feel
John Walding 2008
[G]IT’S RAINING HERE [G7]TODAY,
AND I’M [C]FEELING BLUE
I’D [B]LIKE TO BE OUTSIDE,
BUT I’D GET [C]WET[D7]
I [G]THOUGHT I’D POST THIS [G7]SONG,
IN THE CHORDIE [C]FORUM
THO, [Em]HUGS AND SYMPAT-[D7]HY,
AI,NT FIRED UP [G]YET
[D]IT’S HARD TO BE, [D7]ENTHUSIASTIC,
WHEN [G]SKIES ARE WEEPY AND [Em]GREY
AND THE [A7]HOURS JUST DRAG,
LIKE A BRICK FILLED BAG
AS YOU [D7]TRY TO WHILE THE TIME, AWAY
[middle 8]
IT’S [G]HARD, WHEN YOUR SYMPATH-[G7]ISER,
IS [C]MILES ACROSS THE SEA
[D]SEND ME A HUG, BY EMAIL,
ADRESSED, FROM [D]YOU, TO [G]ME
[Its sobby time,again]
IT’S RAINING HERE [G7]TODAY,
AND I’M [C]BORED AS HELL
MY [B]CHEST’S ALL TIGHT,
I DON’T FEEL RIGHT,
IN [C]FACT, I DON’T FEEL [D7]WELL
SO, I’M [G]ON THE SCROUNGE,
FOR A BIT OF [G7]LOVE,
AND [C]EXPRESSIONS OF SYMPATHY
WON’T, [G]SOMEONE, TAKE [D7]PITY,
ON POOR OLD [G]ME
[D]I’VE WRIT THIS LIITLE WINGE,
[G]I FEEL BETTER [Em]NOW
MY [D]PEN HELPED ME,
TO [D7]GET THIS, OFF MY [G]CHEST
I’M [D]WAITING FOR THOSE HUGS,
AND TENDER [Em]GREETINGS
TO [A7]HELP ME FEEL,
A TAD BETTER, THAN MY [D7]BEST
BUT, [G]JUST IN CASE YOU [G7]THINK,
I’M [C]JUST A SELFISH GUY
[D]IF YOUR FEELING BLUE,
AND [G]NEED TO HAVE A CRY
MY [C]SHOULDERS ALWAYS HERE,
AN [G]EMAIL FROM YOU [Em]DEAR
A [G]PROBLEM SHARED,
WILL [D7]PUT THE BLUE,
[Strum]BACK INTO, [Strum]THOSE,
WET, [Tacit]GREY, [G]SKIES
12 2008-01-22 00:18:03
Topic: Farewell to a friend (2 replies, posted in Songwriting)
I think that this will do very well for now.
Enjoy, (if you so desire); critique please...
Kiwi John
FAREWELL TO A FRIENDKEY G 4/4 swing feel
John Walding 2002
[G]I’VE PACKED MY BAGS, I,M [G7]READY TO GO
[B]SOON, I’LL HAVE TO [C]LEAVE
WON’T YOU [D]HOLD ME [D7]CLOSE
FOR [G]OLD TIMES SAKE
A [D]KISS, A [D7]HUG, A [G]HINT OF TEARS
SAY, YOU’LL [C]MISS ME, [D7]WHEN I’M [G]GONE[D7]
[inst:|G/G7|B/C|D/D7/G|D/D7/G|C/D7/G/D7|]
I’D [G]LOVE TO TAKE YOU [G7]WITH ME, BUT
THERE’S [B]ONLY ROOM, FOR [C]ONE
A [D]JOURNEY, FROM [D7]HERE, TO [G]ETERNITY
[D]NOTHING [D7]LEFT, BUT [G]MEMORIES
DON’T [C]FORGET ME
[D7]WHEN I’M [G]GONE[D7]
[inst:|G/G7|B/C|D/D7/G|D/D7/G|C/D7/G/D7|]
THE [G]JOUNEY BEGUN, [G7]A SINGLE STEP
A [B]MILLION MORE, TO [C]GO
THIS [D]DUSTY [D7]ROAD |////|
A [G]LIGHTER LOAD |////|
MEMOR-[C]IES, WEIGH [D7]NOTHING, AT ]G]ALL[D7]
[inst:|G/G7|B/C|D/D7/G|D/D7/G|C/D7/G/D7|]
[G]HOLD ME CLOSE, [G7]JUST ONCE MORE
[B]LET ME HOLD YOU, [C]TOO
SO [D]MUCH TO [D7]SAY |////|
BEFORE WE [G]PART, TODAY |////|
WILL YOU [C]WAVE, GOOD-[D7]BYE, AS I [G]LEAVE[B]
[slow to finisb]
WILL YOU [C]MISS ME, [D7]WHEN I’M [G]GONE
Bye.....
13 2008-01-22 00:10:24
Topic: I WROTE MY LOVE A LETTER (5 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Just in case you're wondering why I've posted so many songs today...
It's raining, the boss sent me home.
This is for all of you who have suffered the pains of separation.
Kiwi John
I WROTE MY LOVE A LETTERKEY B 4/4 swing feel
John Walding 2002
[B]I WROTE MY LOVE, A [E]LETTER
WE’D [F#7]PARTED, SHE AND [B]I
WHOSE FAULT IT WAS
I’M [E]NOT TOO SURE
SHE [F#7]NEVER SAID, [B]GOODBYE
HOW [G#m]DO YOU WRITE A [B]LETTER
[E]WHEN YOUR HEART IS [F#7]BROKE
I [B]WROTE MY LOVE, A [E]LETTER
THIS IS WHAT I [B]WROTE[C#7]
[bridge: B/F#]
THE [F#]WEATHER’S FINE, DOWN [B]HERE TODAY
THE [C#7]SKIES, ARE BRIGHTEST [F#]BLUE
WE’VE HAD NO RAIN
FOR [B]QUITE SOME TIME
IT’S [C#7]DRY AS, HOW ARE [F#]YOU?
I HEARD THE KIWI’S [B]LOST A GAME
THEY’RE [C#7]TALKING ROUND THE [F#]BAR
IT’S QUITE A JOKE, OR [B]SO I’M TOLD
DID YOU [C#7]HAVE TO GO, THAT [F#]FAR?
[F#]THE DAYS ARE LONG, THERE’S [B]LOTS TO MOVE
WE,RE [C#7]WORKING, RATHER [F#]HARD
LONG, LONELY, MILES, SIX [B]DAYS A WEEK
IT’S [C#7]LATE, WHEN WE REACH THE [F#]YARD
MY MATES, THEY KEEP, AN [B]EYE ON ME
I’VE [C#7]TEA BOOKINGS, BY THE [F#]TON
I’M BEING WELL TAKEN [B]CARE OF
WHEN [C#7]ARE YOU COMING [F#]HOME?
OH [G]GOD, I’M GOING [F#]CRAZY
I [E]WISH, YOU’D [B]COME BACK [F#]HOME
[bridge: F#/B]
I [B]WROTE MY LOVE, A [E]LETTER
WE’D [F#7]PARTED, SHE AND [B]I
WHOSE FAULT IT WAS, I’M [E]NOT TOO SURE
SHE [F#7]NEVER SAID, GOOD-[B]BYE
HOW [G#m]DO YOU WRITE A [B]LETTER
[E]WHEN YOUR HEART, IS [F#7]BROKE
I [B]WROTE MY LOVE, A [E]LETTER
THIS, IS, WHAT, I, [B]WROTE
14 2008-01-22 00:04:55
Topic: Birth of a song (0 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Someone wrote a song about how they wrote a song.
I liked it, here's my effort.
Kiwi John
BIRTH OF A SONGKEY D 4/4 shuffle feel
John Walding 2002
[D]NEW SONG, NEW [Dsus]LYRICS, NEW [D]TUNE[Dsus]
[D]FILL MY MIND, I[Dsus]STRUGGLE TO [D]EXPRESS[Dsus]
[G]THOUGHTS, EMOTIONS,
THAT [Gsus]CHURN WITHIN MY [G]HEART[Gsus]
[D]BEGGING, [Dsus]TO BE [D]HEARD[Dsus]
[A7]HOW TO SAY IT, [G]WHAT TO [D]WRITE[Dsus]
THE [A7]WORDS, THE TUNE, [C]CHOICES, [G]CHOICES
SO [D]MANY IDEAS, [Dsus]SO MANY [D]WAYS[Dsus]
TO [A7]TELL YOU, WHAT I [G]FEEL AND [D]SEE[Dsus/D/Dsus]
THE [C]PLAY OF LIGHT, AP-[G]ON THE HILLS
AT [D]TWILIGHT EVE[Dsus]
[C]CLOUD SHAPES, FLOATING [G]HIGH
MOVED BY A [D]GENTLE BREEZE[Dsus]
THE [C]RESIN SMELL, OF [G]PINES
WARMED, BY A [D]SUMMER SUN[Dsus]
THE [A7]LAUGHTER, OF A [G]FRIEND[Dsus/D]
[D]TOO FEW [Dsus]LINES, TO [D]TELL IT ALL[Dsus]
[D]THOUGHTS, [Dsus]EMOTIONS,
THAT WORDS [D]CAN’T EXPRESS[Dsus]
A [G]TUNE, TO [Gsus]STIR THE [G]HEART[Gsus]
[D]FILLS [Dsus]IN, THE [D]SPACES[Dsus]
A [A7]PHRASE, A SENTENCE,
[G]WORDS TO [D]LINK THEM[Dsus]
[A7]SCRIBBLED OUT, OVER [C]WRITTEN, RED-[G]ONE[Dsus]
[D]ALL JOINED TO-[Dsus]GETHER
LIKE A [D]PUZZLE[Dsus]
AND [A7]THEN, YOU [G]HAVE, A [D]SONG[Dsus/D/Dsus]
[C]GUITAR IN HAND, A [G]SLOW GENTLE [D]STRUM[Dsus]
[C]FAST OR SLOW, THE [G]SONG WILL [D]CHOOSE[Dsus]
A [C]TEMPO, TO [G]SUIT THE [D]TALE[Dsus]
THE [A7]PICTURE COMPLETE
THE [C]STORY WAITING
A [G]NEW SONG IS [D]BORN
[turnaround: |D/Dsus/D/Dsus|C/G/D|C/G/D]
[C]READY, TO BE [D]SUNG
15 2008-01-21 22:07:43
Re: Slip Away (13 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi Last Rebel,
Read your lyrics, my guitar was handy, so I payed it slow 4/4 time.
I like your chord progression, but added a Gsus at the end of some of the verses to give it a bit of a lilt.
Lyrics: I can relate to them. I'm sort of going through a minor mid life crisis at present. I thought that all this shit was supposed to work itself out through your system aroung the 40s. I'm 60, and it's just starting to bite.
A good song, well done.
Regards & cheers
Kiwi John
16 2008-01-21 21:55:33
Re: Blue Eyes (4 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi James,
Chords missing??
No Sirreee...
When the chord progression goes to (A7), try adding (A7sus), or an (A6) on the off beat strum.
This song has a bouncy rhythmic beat to it: feel free to push the boundaries a tad...
Thankyou all for your interest.
Regards & cheers
Kiwi John
17 2008-01-19 19:53:23
Re: The Creative Process (8 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi Jets60,
It's good to see that others have the same hickups in their creative processes. I liked the way that you put it all together, the creative process, and the uncertanty you sometimes feel at it,s completion.
Well done sir, keep on writting.
Regards & cheers
Kiwi John
18 2008-01-13 00:15:06
Re: "My News" Words&Music, Helena Donovan (19 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi Old Doll,
Another good song with a solid theme. I guess us males need to get in touch with our softer sides to keep our ladies by our sides.
Well done.
Kiwi John
19 2008-01-12 10:49:08
Re: My Hometown (8 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hey Jets60,
Good song, I like it.
I too live in a town very like yours. Sleepy little Blenhiem in New Zealand has backed up traffic at roundabouts, houses going up all over the place, and at a crazy pace too.
Commuting to work: been there, done that. My office and work place is now mobile.
I call it, Dump Truck.
Keep on writting.
Regards & cheers
Kiwi John
20 2008-01-11 10:15:06
Topic: A FLIGHT OF FANCY (1 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Escapeism looms large in my life, at times
Again, critique please.
Kiwi John
A FLIGHT OF FANCYKEY D 4/4 SWING FEEL
John Walding 2005
[D]OH, THAT I HAD, THE [Bm]WINGS TO [D]FLY
TO [G]WHEREVER I CHOSE TO [D]GO[Dsus-D]
TO BE BORNE ALONG, ON A [Bm]RESTLESS [D]WIND
[C]HIGH AB-[G]OVE THE [D]WORLD[Bm-F#m]
[C]NOT RESTRAINED, BY [Em]BORDERS OR [C]SEAS
[G]FREE TO FLY, TO [Dsus]WHEREVER I [G]PLEASED
TO [C]SEE THE WORLD, FROM A [Em]DIFFERENT [C]VIEW
BORNE [G]ALOFT, IN A [Eb]SKY OF [D]BLUE
TO GAZE FROM ABOVE, AT THE [Bm]WORLD [D]BELOW
PEOPLE [G]SCURRYING, TO AND [D]FRO[Dsus-D]
BUSY PURSUING, THEIR [Bm]GOALS AND [D]DREAMS
A BIRD’S EYE [C]VIEW, OF THE [G]HUMAN [D]SCENE
I COULD FLY, CROSS, THE [Bm]WIDE BLUE [D]SEAS
FIND AN ISLAND, UN-[G]SPOILT AND [D]GREEN
LEAVE MY FOOTPRINTS, ON A [Bm]CLEAR WHITE [D]SHORE
A BEACHCOMBERS [C]LIFE, FOR A[G]MONTH OR [D]MORE
OR MAYBE FLY, TO A [Bm]MOUNTAIN [D]HIGH
TO STAND AP-[C]ON, IT’S HIGHEST [D]PEAK
TO LOOK ACROSS, A [Bm]SEA OF [D]CLOUD
[C]FLOATING BEN-[G]EATH MY [D]FEET
OR FLY BY NIGHT. THROUGH A [Bm]MOONLIT [D]SKY
THE LIGHTS OF [G]TOWNS, SHINING FAR BEL-[D]OW
THE RYTHMIC BEAT, OF [Bm]FEATHERED [D]WINGS
BEARING ME [C]TO, MY [G]JOURNY’S [D]END[Bm-F#m]
[C]NOT RESTRAINED, BY [Em]BORDERS OR [C]SEAS
[G]FREE TO FLY, TO [Dsus]WHEREVER I [G]PLEASED
TO [C]SEE THE WORLD, FROM A [Em]DIFFERENT [C]VIEW
BORNE [G]ALOFT, IN A [Eb]SKY OF [D]BLUE[Bm-G]
21 2008-01-11 10:08:18
Topic: CREATION INC (3 replies, posted in Songwriting)
A whimsical view of the first seven days of creation
Critique please!!
Kiwi John
Chordpro error: This is not a valid artistname. You will have to specify an artistname in the form {st: Artistname} in the beginning of the code.
22 2008-01-09 09:16:40
Re: Your Not There! Song. (22 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi Old Doll,
A well written, rather sad song, to me.
Your story line seemed to reflect on people drifting apart in a relationship.
Am I sort of right in my asessment?
Regards & cheers
Kiwi john
23 2008-01-09 09:09:07
Re: Number 47 – A Regular Fortune (4 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi Jets60.
That's two of your songs that I like.
Congratualtions.
Kiwi John
24 2008-01-09 09:05:26
Re: Extraordinary Love (4 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi Jets60,
What a lovely accolade to your wife. Well done sir
I enjoyed your rhyming and chorus line.
I hav'nt tried to play your song, but your chord sequence does'nt look too hard.
Regards & cheers
Kiwi John
25 2008-01-07 09:41:11
Re: Anuver stage call for Blue Eyes (7 replies, posted in Songwriting)
Hi Folks,
Thanks once again for the interest that you've shown, it makes it seem all worth while.
Old Doll,
Your suspicions are true, it's not Parris Hilton.
Every now and then, work and time permitting, I go busking down town on a Saturday morning.
A mum wheeling her little daughter in a pram stopped to listen. The little girl was bouncing around in her pram, and obviously enjoying what I was doing. They became regulars for a while. I wrote Blue Eyes as a song about the little girl, She's never heard it sung yet.
Regards & cheers
Kiwi John